I have a friend Sasha. And now, looking at him, I realized a long time ago that you can be a good person, but still disagreeable to everyone. You may not even offer help or bother with your advice, because it will not be appreciated. And how difficult it is to pass by when you have a huge kind heart, like Sasha. Sasha is a very good person, he never refuses, always listens, tells me what to do. But, unfortunately, few people appreciate it in him.
Somehow, Sasha and his wife decided to go to the sea. Decided to go by car, so the costs are less. And Sasha was on very good terms with the neighbors, and how he felt sorry for them when they learned about the man's trip to the sea. They had no money for such a trip, and no vehicles at all. So Sasha invited them to go to the sea together in a friendly way. Well, is it a pity to him, as if he will not lose weight, and people will at least see how the sea looks, relax, sunbathe.
Agree, in our time it is very difficult to meet such people who would offer to help for free. But they do exist, even though there are only a few of them. But psychologists say an unpleasant thing about such people, they are sure that people who help others of their own free will are just trying to assert themselves at someone else's expense. Here, I am so strong, and you are weak, I have achieved something, but you have not, so I help you, feeding my vanity and pride.
So Sashka set off with all his company to the sea. Neighbors out of habit overeat, drank, burned. As a result, the neighbor had a stool disorder, and the neighbor generally broke his leg. And, of course, Sasha was to blame for all this! He was accused that it was he who called them, that they actually lived without the sea for so many years, and everything was fine, in general, it would be better to sit at home.
When everyone returned home, the neighbors started spreading various rumors about Sasha, not entirely pleasant ones. So he did good to people. I wanted the best, but it turned out, as always!
And another case about Sasha. In addition to the fact that he is a kind and sympathetic person, he is also a rather prominent man, many people like it. But Sasha is faithful to his wife, and does not pay any attention to the interest of outside women in his address. So he liked his colleague, who was divorced. They worked together for a long time, and never really talked, but here the weather was fierce, and Sasha invited a colleague to take her home. She also had heavy bags with her, well, why not help, it's a pity.
And the lady began to "drive up" to the man, and this and that. Sasha understood what was what and decided to just ignore such things. And this hurt the woman very much, and she decided to take revenge on Sasha. She took and called the man's wife, and said that they had an affair. It is good that the wife is a woman with a head, and did not believe anything, otherwise it would not be known what this all led to.
We are taught from childhood that if there is an opportunity, we need to help a person. But in reality, life shows that you should never go to others with your help and advice. Why this happens is a mystery. Especially if a person himself, showing compassion, wants to offer help, wants those who feel bad to feel good.
It's just that with our good, like a pendulum, we unbalance someone else's life. When we help a person too much, his ability to move independently is completely atrophied. forward, motivation is lost, he begins to depend on us, to wait for this help, and if it is not enough, he appears hatred.
Therefore, you need to help within reasonable limits, otherwise they will start using it, and then they will also hate it when something goes wrong. Have you ever had such cases when you helped someone, but later became the most terrible person in the world?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/hotel-kak-luchshe-a-poluchilos-kak-vsegda-pochemu-tot-kto-vsem-pomogaet-v-itoge-vo-vsem-vinovat.html
