Sometimes a person does not even suspect that they are jealous of him. The close people with whom he shares his experiences and joys are jealous. They envy secretly, practically hating and cursing. But there is the main sign of envy, which for some reason is not taken into account. I also want to talk about him today.
This sign of envy is very noticeable and simple, but it is he who confuses us completely. We consider a person a close friend, or he is our relative, and we cannot even think that he is jealous of us. Well, of course, he takes pity on us when something happens with us. He regrets somehow sincerely, listens, empathizes. And this is so strange! The person always treated you coldly, often criticized, could offend you with rather harsh words, sometimes he made fun of you, never praised, did not support in some endeavors... And then something bad happens to you, and he pities you, he seems to change his attitude.
So I talked to a woman before, we were friends with families, together all the holidays, weekends, events. And then they somehow moved away. My friend began to regularly ridicule me, she called all my plans nonsense, criticized me for my actions. And then there was a nuisance in my life, and she came, hugged, regretted. And then I thought: this is real friendship. For a long time there is nothing in common between us, but she didn’t give up in trouble, rushed, sympathized, hugged. Later I only realized that she just wanted to see how it hurt me, on the outside she was friendly and compassionate, and on the inside she gloated at my mistake.
But at first I thought I was mistaken about her. She probably always treated me well, but she asks all the details of what happened, gasps and gives advice, and even offers help. At first, some kind of increased compassion on her part did not even bother me, on the contrary, I felt a sense of guilt, because I thought that my friend was always jealous of me.
But then I understood everything, I woke up from some magical effect. No wonder I suspected that unfortunate woman of envy. She envied me for many years, and suffered from it. The fact is that the same parts of the brain are responsible for envy in a person as for physical pain. And due to the fact that a person is in pain, he begins to hate in his soul. It was excruciatingly painful for my friend to see when I was doing well. And what a relief she felt when something bad happened to me. How easy and good it became for her. Can you imagine? I felt bad, but she was good! She just reveled in the details of what had happened, as if she was eating me, enjoying every detail, sighing, pretending to be compassionate.
This is the sign of envy. If you look closely, you can see on the face of the envious smile, hidden, barely noticeable, disgusting... The envious is so glad of someone else's pain that he simply cannot hide his joy. He encourages you to tell him about your troubles over and over again: robbed, lost your job, broke up with a loved one, someone died... But as soon as the bad times are gone, everything will return to its own places. The envious person will again begin to gossip about you, hate you in his soul, endure this pain of his.
In trouble or grief, a person loses his vigilance, and calmly accepts words of consolation and compassion from an envious person, even if everything in his soul is protesting. This is doubly insulting, because we want to believe that a person is sincere with us, but no, he just enjoys the fact that we are in pain!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/glavnyj-priznak-zavisti-kotoryj-vy-ne-zamechaete.html
