Not all people know how to live alone. Yes, for some it is quite normal, but some cannot alone. He cannot, does not want, but still remains a loner. I'm talking about the habits that lead to this.
Be prepared for the fact that you may not like the reasons for your loneliness ...
You are too cynical
If you have already reached the point that “all around are traitors”, “all men are good ...” / “all women are bitches”, “love does not exist”, etc., then you doomed your next relationship to death in advance. You just don't even give them a chance. Maybe stop making assumptions, projecting, being careful about everything? You yourself are depriving yourself of the opportunity to become a happy person!
It is cynicism that can become a real obstacle on your path to finding happiness. You drive yourself into failure by carrying the baggage of unhealthy relationships through life. Thus, you make yourself lonely.
Fake independence
You put yourself in such a way that it seems like you are not bad without a second half. You have achieved everything yourself, do not depend on anyone, such a straight business woman or such an inveterate successful bachelor. But in fact, I think that not everything is perfect with you, you are more creating a kind of semblance of your independence and success. And it seems to you that you are doing the right thing.
And then you start to compromise, give up something for the sake of your loved one, in order to please him, renounce your joys so that he is happy. Then it turns out that all your independence was false.
You want what you can't have
If a person wants what he cannot have, then he himself programs his relationship for failure. Yes, it's good that you know what you want. And no one says that you should say goodbye to your ideal soul mate and be content with what you have. But it's time to be honest with yourself. Think about what can make you a happy person, what qualities of a partner it will be difficult for you to endure, what exactly you discourage all desire to communicate with a person, what traits a person should have in order for you to love him and etc.
Your standards are too high
Your partner will not be able to live up to your expectations if you set the bar too high. Ideal does not exist, and it is worth understanding for a long time. And to think like that is immature and even stupid. Most importantly, these are the human qualities that your significant other should have.
You step on the same rake
The experience of the past has taught you absolutely nothing. Why did you break up with your previous partner? What have you learned from your past relationship? What were you wasting your time on? These are all important lessons that should be put into your head. You have already understood what you want, made conclusions after experiencing unsuccessful relationships, identified your inner problems, and now you must make informed decisions. If the past has not taught you anything, and you are again stepping on a rake, then this will not end with anything good.
Are you afraid to win
In fact, the fear of success is quite a challenge. Here, victory is equal to finding your love. You have been looking for your love for so long and for a long time, and now, it seems that it is in your hands, but you are afraid. Why? Your fear may be associated with low self-esteem, some kind of childhood trauma, or maybe you suddenly thought that you are not worthy of being a successful person, not worthy of beautiful love and serious relationship.
Everything "sits" in your subconscious. Try to delve into the depths of your soul to understand the true reason for your loneliness. You will see, you can cope with everything, and be sure to find your happiness!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/6-privychek-privodyashhih-k-odinochestvu.html
