We often attribute children's whims to another developmental crisis. The author of maternal ethics, Lyudmila Krasnobaeva, is sure that the point is not in psychology, but in muscle tension. Taking it off we get a golden baby
This is not about the educational classics of the genre - spanking on a soft spot - and not about endless carrying on your hands, but about the ability relax the child, remove body clamps, which improves blood supply and a sufficient amount of oxygen. As Lyudmila says, "complete ecology" begins there. As a result, the baby eats well, sleeps, enjoys life and develops well. And these are the main parameters of parental success. And to achieve it, as it turned out, is not difficult.
The cause of hypertonicity is parental "hard-handedness"
Where does the tension in the body of newborns come from, or the so-called hypertonicity? Parents at the seminar were puzzled by this question. Someone called the cause of birth trauma, someone - a feature of this stage of development. The thought that the baby was straining because of our inept hands did not even flicker in anyone's mind. Nevertheless, according to Lyudmila, it is the parental "handicap" that is the main cause of hypertonia. The child, feeling her, is forced to group, defending himself: he clenches his fists, tightens his legs and elbows, pulls in his neck.
“The result is a perfect zucchini. When you take such a little one in your arms, it seems that it is crystal. In his armpits, the contraction is so strong that he substitutes them for us, like the handle of a suitcase. The shoulders are close to the ears. The neck is not visible: it is deeply retracted, lies right in the stomach (by the way, you should not take the baby under the armpits: this provokes him to fasten himself even more “reliably” into such a “cephalothorax”) ",- says Lyudmila.
With such a global clamping, there is a violation of the blood supply to the brain, the child experiences great discomfort. Therefore, she hangs like a pear for days on my mother, is capricious, etc.
The author of maternal ethics - Lyudmila Krasnobaeva
How to relieve stress: success is in your hands
You can fix the situation by relaxing your hands.
"They opened them - and the vertebrae in the neck and thoracic region fit in the correct order, and the blood circulation, which goes here through the most important traffic, becomes full-fledged",- says Lyudmila Krasnobaeva.
Our mothers and grandmothers were constantly busy with their hands when we were swaddled.
«Whether I want to or not, whether I am able or not, I have to open my hands to the child, put them at the seams and swaddle them. While I was puffing, putting him in a diaper, he pee again, again all over again: unwrap, put on a dry cloth, relax your hands, because you can't press your hands against the calf. And so many times during the day. And the baby every hour received at least total care of his hands.", - this is how Lyudmila explains the importance of swaddling and says that she herself did not expect that in time she would come to such a denominator.
She swaddled her eldest daughter Ksyusha (“the child was fast asleep, ate well, so you could hear the sound of a stream of milk in his cheek”). but the middle son, Mark, was brought up according to the principles of natural parenting: without diapers, with bathing in a deep bath, dynamic gymnastics, etc.
«But I did not receive the promised bonuses from all this. The development of his son did not outstrip the development of his daughter at this age, he was restless, often cried. With the youngest, Boris, I no longer experimented, but I relaxed my hands, swaddled, and everything was fine", - says Lyudmila.
Maternal ethics appeared thanks to, among other things, this experience, but above all it was formed thanks to postpartum swaddling of mom (a practice that helps a woman to recover), which Lyudmila is engaged in.
«It lasts 3-5 hours, and at this time all the care of the child lies with me. And my task is to make him behave calmly, otherwise the procedure will be disrupted. So the most important nuances of maternal ethics were developed in active practice of working with children of different ages.", - explains the author of maternal ethics.
To make the child sleep well and eat well, we make "flames" and "rainbows"
I can no longer fully check the effectiveness of swaddling on my youngest daughter: she is already four. But she really likes it when I cheat her after bathing. By the way, in order for the kids to relax as much as possible before going to bed, Lyudmila advises to bathe them in the sink while they are there. fit: in a deep bath, their swimming reflex turns on, their muscles tense, and they strongly excited. And in this case, mother does not need to bend her back.
But I am regularly convinced of the effectiveness of other recommendations. After I started to knead my daughter well before going to bed, she began to sleep all night without waking up. Especially the "rainbow" pose helps her to relax: the baby lies across me with her tummy on my belly, her head hangs down, arms along the body (it is in this position that the child maximally "gives" his neck). In parallel, I pat her body. Within 10 minutes she is in complete "nirvana". By the way, it will not be possible to achieve such a result on a fitball: for balance, stabilizing muscles are included in the work, and the child, willy-nilly, strains.
Also during the day, as Lyudmila advised, I pluck her along the contour of the body as often as possible, do "Tongues of flame", running my fingers along the arms, legs, back, raise my hands and wrinkle the "wings" (shoulder blades). And, of course, I kiss and hug you. The result is less whims, demands akin to "go there, I don't know where, bring that, I don't know what."
Put your child in a rainbow to relieve tension
The reason for children's tears is not psychology, but physiology
Lyudmila Krasnobaeva says about such metamorphoses: “Often a child's real physical suffering is dramatically declared a psychological crisis. After all, it is the emotional manifestations that are striking everyone's eyes. And in this case, it is recommended to endure the complex behavior of the baby. But in fact, he behaves in a difficult way, because he is traumatized. The rapid growth rate is not smooth, serious tension accumulates in the neck and in the thoracic region, in the lower back, groin, armpits. The child becomes like a thousand-voltage transistor, and it is very difficult for him. To endure is clearly not the way to go. He just needs help to relieve this tension».
Swaddle your baby not too tight / istockphoto.com
Side View: Pediatrician Commentary
Elena Shvets, pediatrician at the Ameda family clinic:
“If you suspect a baby has hypertonicity, show it to a neurologist. Perhaps he will prescribe additional studies, for example, an ultrasound of the fontanelle, to identify the cause of this condition. As for swaddling, I am against the form when a child is swaddled so that he cannot even move his legs. Indeed, in this case, the dislocation of the femoral head from the joint occurs. I am for easy swaddling, when the handle legs are only swaddled. Newborns have discoordinated movements, and they often wake themselves up with them ”.
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