With the arrival of the youngest child, the actions of the parents can lay either a solid foundation of intimacy between children or a time bomb. What can harm a sibling relationship
1. Entrust to someone older during the appearance of the youngest child
The stress of having a sibling will multiply with another stress - feelings of emotional rejection. “The parents have a new beloved child, but I am no longer needed” - these are the feelings of the first-born in such a situation. Try to attract helpers in such a way that you can pay attention not only to the baby, but also to the older child. Otherwise it will be hardavoid jealousy.
2. "You are the elder - give in"
With the appearance of a baby in the house, parents often overestimate the adulthood of an older child. Although he is the eldest, he is still a child, and he needs enough time to get used to the new role. If the interests of the first-born are constantly suppressed to please the younger, this provokes his jealousy towards his brother or sister.
Don't turn an older child into a caretaker for a younger child / istockphoto.com
3. Compare children with each other
If the parents say “look, Mashenka, she’s so small, but it helps, but you don’t,” in the child’s language it is heard, like: “you are not good enough for us to love you”. Here, Mashenka, is good, but you are not. Until the age of seven, such comparisons will simply reduce the child's self-esteem, and after that, he will also begin to defend himself, become in opposition. And just as deeply suffer from "unloved". Of course, this will negatively affect further relations between children, regardless of what age they will be.
4. Making the elder responsible for what happens to the younger
For example, leaving to look after the younger for a few minutes, blame or shame if he hit, crawled away or caused himself some other harm. Children should not be responsible for children - give the firstborn only feasible tasks and always accept his help with gratitude.
Building good relationships between brothers and sisters is greatly helped by fairy tales, parables that teach friendship and support and show what bad relationships in the family lead to. Look for a balance of interests between children, respect everyone's needs whenever possible, set a personal example family communication without screaming and scandals - this way you will lay a good foundation for friendship and intimacy between your children.
It will also be interesting for you to read:
War and Peace in the Nursery: What to Do if Brothers and Sisters Fight
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