For some reason, it is generally accepted that the one who cheated is always to blame. No one takes into account the fact that both are always to blame.
And I'm not talking about lovers now, but about who was cheated on.
Any person, tying the knot, does not plan treason and thinks that he has found the very person.
Over time, everything changes, relations get worse, people quarrel, argue and cannot agree on basic things.
If men are straightforward enough in their behavior, then women arrange "quests", riddles and intrigues. From this the spouses move away and here the lovers appear.
And so, what are the reasons for cheating is not customary to discuss:
1. Emotional abuse.
This is torture with silence, with reservations. This morally drains and alienates people. The game of silence is characteristic of women, but men also sin with this.
Women are thus offended and make it clear that they do not intend to communicate until the man realizes that he is wrong.
Men are silent, because they do not want to take out their anger, it is easier for them to limit themselves to a minimum of communication and wait until the storm subsides.
And how can a man understand that he is wrong if he is not told about it? How can a woman understand that her spouse needs time to cool down?
For any attempts to speak, find out the reason or even apologize, for it is not clear what, the spouses bump into a wall out of indifference, and there is no choice but to seek advice and support from someone else.
And the advisor and support can become loved in the future.
2. Denial of intimacy.
When you first started a relationship, this happened more often. Over time, the fire dies out and this happens to everyone. Someone after a year, someone after 5 years, but this moment comes. There is nothing wrong with this, the spouses do not run to change because of this, it takes too much time, effort and patience.
But when you consciously repulse a person and thus punish him, he involuntarily begins to think that you no longer love him, that you are no longer interested in him. And he goes to look for confirmation of his attractiveness and "desirability" on the side.
And, as a rule, he finds it.
3. Indifference.
Any person sometimes needs to be listened to, understood, pitied, caressed and told what a fine fellow he is. In marriage, over time, the concept of gratitude is blurred and people take everything for granted, not considering it necessary to thank, praise and support each other.
And it would be fine if they simply did not thank, so reproaches begin to pour in, in response to what was not done, and the good is ignored, or even worse, something like - "Yes, I've been waiting for a month! At last! One hundred years need to wait for something from you "or you do everything yourself, with the words -" Yes, you are a useless person, you can't wait for it! "
Such situations force people to reach out to those who praise and thank them.
And these people often become loved.
The conclusion from all that has been written is this: there is no need to praise and "love" a person to death! Carrot and stick are both important, sometimes you can be offended and be silent and refuse something.
BUT!
Do not be too often with this, learn to talk and negotiate. Do not yell, do not scandal, but speak calmly. Listen, understand, accept. Think about how you fell in love with each other and why.
And never think that the other person will be better, all spouses go through a stage of disgust and drown in conflicts. But only those who managed to survive all this can be truly happy.
