Sometimes a woman, without realizing it, attracts not very good men into her life. Is this happening to you too? Then it's worth looking into this issue. No, you are not a magnet for them, but you subconsciously attract them. Why?
We are people of habit. And more often than not we are looking for what we are familiar with. We want to feel that we are understood, we want comfort, so we choose the situations for ourselves that we already know. Accordingly, we can choose the types of people we know. This is one of the reasons why you always build relationships with the bad guys. You are so used to it.
It's another matter when you are not so sure of yourself that you think that you are unworthy of more than you have now. Here you communicate with a rude person who does not know how to treat you well, and you endure this, persuading yourself that many people do this, and that it could be even worse. Or you feel as if the whole world is against you, and you think that nothing can be changed.
Another reason. You grew up in a family where, say, your father was a narcissist or mistreated your mother. And you, on a subconscious level, also choose such a partner for yourself. Most of each of us are formed in childhood, so, perhaps, your relationship now is an echo of the past.
We are also subconsciously looking for a partner whom we adored in childhood. And, as soon as a person with similar traits and behavior appears on the horizon, he begins to attract us. So it's not your fault that you only come across the "bad guys". You are simply programmed like that since childhood.
You meet a man, and it seems to you that you have known him all your life, that you have known each other for a long time, you feel so good with him, comfortable. Although in fact you do not know each other well yet. If you have childhood traumas, low self-esteem, then you have a need for love and comfort. And, as soon as you meet a person, and he reciprocates your sympathy, you start falling in love. You so want to find that love that you didn’t receive in childhood, that you are being fooled by a man who seems to you a kindred spirit, absolutely not noticing the negative features in his behavior.
Imagine he takes you to the jewelry store for a ring, because he already knows that your ex never proposed to you. He surprises you with bouquets, because no one gave you flowers before. He writes you love notes, letters, sms and confesses his feelings, because no one has ever said words of love to you before, not even your parents. And after all, you yourself told him everything, that's why he behaves like that!
You are looking for your love, you open your heart only because he is not like everyone else, he behaves differently. He is your savior! But no one will save you except yourself. You have to be careful, because perhaps this is all an illusion, a game. As soon as it all suddenly disappears, you will feel so vulnerable and helpless. And you will not understand what is the reason why your childhood traumas and your experience are coming out again. Why is everything happening the way it did last time? And this is happening in order for you to finally figure it out.
Until you yourself realize that you are looking at the same type of men over and over again, you will not break this cycle. It's time to begin to understand why you attract what is bad for you, why you attract the "bad guys"!
Start from childhood. What was your family like, what were your parents like, how did you feel from them, were you happy? Grasp this connection to understand everything.
Focus on your relationship with yourself, get to know and accept yourself, and deal honestly with your old feelings of guilt and shame. Or maybe you think there is something wrong with you? It's time to set personal boundaries to feel safe.
Once you can understand yourself, you will stop attracting the "bad guys" to you, and you will stop choosing the relationships that are wrong for you!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/zhizn/pochemu-v-vashej-zhizni-poyavlyajutsya-tolko-plohie-parni-vy-sami-ih-ishhite.html
