Is there anything less lasting than marriages and relationships today?
Our parents and grandmothers tried to keep the marriage together and worked on what they have. The current generation has forgotten how to solve problems and just diverge and get divorced.
But, you need to understand that if you run away from the problem, this will not solve anything and with a 90% probability you will face the same difficulties already in a new relationship. And so on in a circle until you fix something in your head!
And now closer to the subject. How to understand that your relationship is going to hell?
1. Distance from each other.
It's normal when, after a year, two, ten years, you are no longer so attached to each other and you do not want to be together 24/7. It's not okay when you don't have common topics of conversation and common interests. When your life is focused solely on general obligations: it can be children, debts, some kind of purchases, mortgage or illness of someone close to you. But this is not something that pleases you, not something that you do together with joy.
You don't go to the movies or visit your friends together. You are no longer interested in what your partner is interested in. He, in turn, is just as indifferent to you.
Any couple goes through such crises, and you can always stop this trend. Unless, of course, you care, and you want to keep the relationship, and make your marriage stronger.
Invite your loved one to a restaurant or an excursion. After all, you know what he is interested in. Spend time together, let it be a banal movie watching or a walk in the park near your house. Start small, don't give up!
2. Quarrels and scandals with or without.
Everyone swears, everyone argues, but sooner or later they come to a compromise. Not always and not everywhere people manage to come to an agreement, but if the relationship is built on mutual respect, this is what happens.
But, if you understand that you cannot agree on practically anything, expect trouble. This means that you do not want to give in or do not want to give in to you. Most likely, you have lost mutual respect for each other and you do not need to negotiate. Therefore, quarrels do not end and dissatisfaction with each other only grows.
Almost all couples face this state of affairs, you are not alone. The question is, how much do you value your partner to end it.
Try to hear each other, ask to listen to you. If you want to resolve everything peacefully, sort out your discontent and stop, think, understand. Look at each other not as enemies, but as people who once loved each other madly.
Remember how it all began, do not tear where it is thin, if a person is dear to you.
3. Public humiliation and quarrels in front of others.
No wonder they say that they can't stand dirty linen in public. Your relationship is your fortress and everything that happens between you should remain between you.
I think many have noticed that couples who are in love with each other and live together, even for a long time, do not allow them to speak badly about him even in the absence of a partner.
But, if the situation has reached the point that you, in the company of friends, yell at each other and call names, this is the end. Respect and love are very close to each other. And the person who loves will not "publicly" humiliate you. For him, this is a blow to pride, this is the same if he starts humiliating himself! This is especially true for men.
In such a situation, it is difficult to return something back, because most likely you no longer love each other and you do not care what others think, you no longer value the relationship.
Or, if your partner humiliates you, and you endure silently, it will be difficult to change something. You cannot undo what has been said, and if there were witnesses, it will be difficult to forget such an attitude towards you.
The conclusion is this:
In almost any situation, you can find a way out and maintain a relationship if this desire is mutual. If you see one of the signs, but want everything to be good and you were together, do not leave it as it is.
The main thing is to try to keep a cold mind and not let emotions take over. Try to talk calmly, without unnecessary emotions. Be prepared to hear complaints addressed to you. Perhaps you are really doing something wrong.
After you have a heart-to-heart talk, it will be easier for you to decide whether to keep this relationship or not.
And do not forget that there must be a mutual desire to be together. If your partner no longer wants anything, then you most likely will not be able to do something. And if you succeed, you will not see respect.
Here the saying - "and one soldier in the field" - does not work. A relationship is the work of two people.
