Sometimes it just looks like everything is fine in the family. It's just that not everyone lives openly to outsiders, sometimes you are surprised to learn that a prosperous family is waging some kind of cold war with each other. So it happened with the heroine of this story. She cannot understand what happened, and does not know what to do now!
“I don’t know when it all started, but now I’m watching my children, and I just can’t understand what is happening to them. They seemed to have cooled to each other. I remember how it was before, they were everywhere together, kept secrets, they had their own jokes that no one understood, in general, they were friends - they were inseparable. What now? They constantly compete, quarrel even over trifles, reproach in everything, sometimes behave as if they do not know each other. Some kind of hatred and bitterness between them. And the worst thing is that they make me to blame for this.
I don’t understand at all what I’m to blame. I raised them myself, alone, putting my whole soul into them. And I never pressed on them, I gave them a lot of freedom so that they had the opportunity to realize themselves as full-fledged personalities. And now I constantly hear that I am the cause of all their troubles.
Every day I torment myself with memories. I try to remember exactly when this feud began between them. But I can't do anything. I would very much like to analyze everything that is happening, and find the root cause of their strange aggressive behavior. But all is in vain. And I tried to bring them to the conversation many times, but they are silent, change the subject, leave. She has grown up holistic personalities, and now they do not care at all about the rest.
I think maybe they really have something serious happened, but I'm sure that, despite all sorts of conflicts, siblings should get along, and be a reliable shoulder for each other, but here it turns out that they are almost enemies become. I even asked my friends for advice, but how would they know what was in my sons' heads. They also have children, and different situations happened between them, but they still all communicate and all are friends. Maybe my girlfriend was not divided, or maybe the reason is in the money issue. But I can't understand two things: how can relatives communicate in this way, and what am I to blame?
Since childhood, my sons have been best friends, but now they don't even call each other. If they only told me what happened between them, I would then make every effort to restore warm relations. But I already began to openly impose my questions. In this way, they will soon stop calling me.
And now I would close all my eyes to this, they communicate with me, but what is there between them is all the same. Well, adults are already people, they will figure it out themselves. But why do they make me to blame for everything, I cannot understand. I have been living in such ignorance for the second year already, and I just can't remember what could have caused such an attitude. I am very afraid of losing touch with my children, they are my meaning of life, I have no one else except them!
Now I live alone, they moved away from me a long time ago. I can only occasionally call them up and rejoice at their successes. But lately I am not happy because of them, but I cry more. Old age is not far off, and I am very scared to be alone! "
It is a very incomprehensible situation, because the woman herself does not know where the “legs grow” from her sons' dislike for each other. What do you think you can advise her in such a situation? Maybe she really just closed her eyes to everything and lived in peace? Or still try to find the truth?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/deti-ssoryatsya-a-vinovatoj-vystavlyajut-svoju-mat.html
