We all grow up, and, perhaps, someday we are able to understand the reasons for the actions of our parents, but there is something we cannot forgive ...
Children, of course, can get angry with their parents. Sometimes you can even hear phrases from them, like "I will never forgive you." But more often than not, such "threats" do not mean anything. There are only cases when parents inflict deep psychological trauma on children. And children may not be threatening, they may behave calmly, but they may hide their resentment for the rest of their lives. They cannot forgive their parents for 2 things.
Broken promises
Parents have been telling us from childhood that if there is no way to keep promises, then it is better not to give them at all. But, unfortunately, they themselves repeat this mistake over and over again. Adults promise something, do not keep their promise, and then find excuses for themselves. And children seem to understand all this, but resentment in the soul settles for life. Circumstances, third-party reasons, lack of time, or in general, parents have so many things to do, one must have a conscience and not bother.
A good friend of mine still remembers this from his father's side. Dad promised to take him on a camping trip as a child. The man said that he would teach his son how to make a fire, fish, cook fish soup from it. But an acquaintance graduated from school, and his father did not take him on a campaign. And every time, when the boy, and then the guy, reminded his father of his promise, he even managed to swear, like "there is no time and there is nothing to go to me!"
Now the father does not understand why this long, unrealizable story caused his son so much pain. When the acquaintance had already become a dad himself, he tried to talk to his parent, to explain the reasons for his grievances, to which the father said that he was vindictive and ungrateful.
Disrespectful attitude
Many parents now, probably, will be indignant, because they believe that there is nothing to respect children for, because they are still small. And many more people think so than it might seem.
I don't know why, but some people look down on their children, like, "I am the eldest, so I know everything, but you should be silent and obey!" And such parents say that “if you grow up, you will become an adult, then we will talk with you on equal terms,” and allow themselves humiliating gestures, words and actions towards children.
Parents do not appreciate child labor, help, children's impulses to do something, and they do not even think to praise them. To scold, to poke a jamb with a nose - of course, and to praise - there is nothing.
Here's an example! One amazing craftswoman now makes incredibly beautiful dolls, and sells them abroad, earns very good money. But all her childhood she had to hide her crafts. After all, mom said that her daughter sews dresses for dolls of some kind, and dad in general swore that the child was wasting time on some nonsense. You see how, since childhood, she has a vocation, a craving for creativity, and all this grew into a profession, into work, but they did not believe in her, she was not respected by the closest people.
Now this craftswoman communicates with her parents, because her relatives are all the same. Dad is still twirling his finger at his temple, and recommends his daughter to find another profession. Mom is silent. And the offense still lives in the heart, it cannot be put anywhere, cannot be pulled out in any way. Parents always thought that they just wish their daughter good, they wanted the child to achieve something, get a prestigious profession, and become rich. Maybe so, but the child harbored a grudge, he understood the reasons for the actions of his parents when he grew up, but he cannot forgive.
Think about it, please. You don't have to become your child's friend, but just don't make these two mistakes so as not to harm him and not get then in old age the realization that your closest will never forgive you person!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/vsego-dve-veshhi-kotorye-deti-nikogda-ne-proshhajut-roditelyam-podumajte-ob-etom.html
