In my understanding, happily meeting old age is spending every day next to my husband, inviting children with grandchildren on weekends, baking pies, and going to the country house. But not all women support my point of view, there are those who consciously choose loneliness. To be honest, I don't even know if my opinion will change later, time will tell. But now I don't understand how you can take it like that, give up everything, and live alone.
This is how my friend Lera lives. She recently turned 52. She stopped communicating with all her friends, filed for divorce. And to my question: "why", she explained everything in detail.
“I'm tired of all kinds of obligations, I'm just tired of them. I wanted to become independent and free. Everyone is constantly demanding something from me - my spouse, children, now my grandchildren, colleagues at work, friends. I devote almost all my time to them, and I practically don't have a minute left for myself. My girlfriends have turned into selfish, although I think it has always been like that, my eyes just opened just now. Well, is it good that I always listen to their empty gossip, and they never listen to me at all?
Everyone should be loved and the most important in the world, only one person - he himself. I am alone. No one will value me higher and understand better than me! I noticed that my peers mostly talk about things that do not interest me personally. And only I myself can take care of myself! The rest do not care. This realization came to me only over the years, I realized that it is much easier to live when you do not take other people's desires and requests to heart!
Now I can say for sure that I feel good alone! And I don't need any company. As it turned out, my husband and I also have completely different interests. You know, some of my acquaintances with their spouses, on the other hand, have many interests. Someone goes to the dacha together, someone watches TV all day, someone lives for the sake of their grandchildren. Of course, I think that grandchildren should see grandparents, but so that to move to them forever is already wrong. And there are those who do not have relationships, but alcoholism. Oh, this is a separate story, but one friend, instead of taking and divorcing her husband, with whom she no longer has anything in common, began to often drink alcohol with him. So I say, they have alcoholic drinks. They live in perfect harmony ...
When I was left alone for the first time, I was simply amazed at how good I felt. I watch my favorite TV shows, I can even shout. I can read books in silence. I eat what I want, not what my children or spouse want. I have found inner harmony, I do not waste my life resources on others. And I noticed that I began to smile even more often for no reason.
My husband is an inveterate spender, he bought everything - unnecessary junk food, some things, trash. When the children were young, he could spend all the money on toys, and then I worried if we had enough livelihood until the next paycheck.
Now I spend money on what I think is necessary, I even manage to save, and I also stopped being annoyed over trifles. Never once did I have an emptiness in my soul, as if I had lost something, I regret it and want to return it. Earlier, my acquaintances would call me to a cafe, and I go because I have to, at least out of respect. And now, I don't. And I know that homemade food is much tastier for me than cafe food.
One of my friends, one might say, already ex, communicates with everyone! And she calls absolutely everyone her friends. Every day she calls up with someone, sends someone pictures and gifts on social networks, communicates via video. I have seen many times what her face is after she hangs up. At first she was so smiling and good-natured, but the sour mine would hang up the phone - what insincerity. She is empty inside, and everyone around her considers her friendly.
I am 100% sure that loneliness is wonderful. I, like everyone else, 20-25 years ago wanted parties, guests, friends, fun. And after 50 years, life priorities change! My time is running out, and now I want to live for myself, take care of myself! And I, by the way, am very happy! "
After the story of my friend, I thought. Would I dare to do this? Will I ever be able to accept and love loneliness the way it does? Honestly, I don’t know... Now I am more inclined to answer “no”. Or maybe the priorities will really change over the years?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/pochemu-mnogie-zrelye-zhenshhiny-polnostju-peresmatrivajut-svoju-zhizn-i-vybirajut-odinochestvo.html
