When I gave birth to my second child, I immediately had a new "girlfriend". She is our neighbor, lives two floors below. It so happened that our children were born a month apart. We often went to the consultation together during pregnancy, went to the store, sat on the bench. I have friends and girlfriends with whom I communicate almost from kindergarten, but I am a sociable and polite person. A neighbor somehow kindly talked to me, saw me sometimes, consulted about my health. But I can't say that I started to consider her my friend. In general, only motherhood connected us.
And then a neighbor gave birth, a month later and I came home from the hospital. And the new "girlfriend" has become a lot. She saw through the window that I went out with the child for a walk, and immediately she was also going. Her baby was born a hero, mine is smaller. Therefore, it turned out that she gave me some children's clothes, I compensated for this with baby food - mixtures, mashed potatoes. And I always returned the children's clothes back later.
And then our walks turned into something completely incomprehensible. The neighbor began to openly beg for food from me. You know, this is when neighbors come to you and ask for salt, tea, sugar, although there is a store in the house itself on the ground floor, and you can quickly go down there even with a baby in your arms. Then she even began to ask for sweets, mayonnaise, which we don't even eat. I got the impression that she was simply imposing herself on me and looking for an excuse to visit. We have a lot of good expensive toys left from the older child, but we still bought. And my neighbor always asked them to play for her son. Give me a tolokar, then a rug, then a bizikub. It seems to me that she did not buy anything herself at all, but simply borrowed it from us for temporary use.
I never invited her to visit us at all, she came herself. And she never invited us either, she said that she had an old mother, she was constantly ill and somehow was not up to the guests. In addition to toys and food, the neighbor began to ask me for medicine. I understand that children are never strangers, and when a child has a fever and the pharmacies are closed, you can always help out and borrow an antipyretic in a neighborly way. But when they come to you and ask for ointments, nasal drops and other medications, which, by the way, cost not 50 rubles, this is already arrogance. Take a bottle of drops and that's it. Is this okay? In general, every mother with a child should have a first-aid kit!
A neighbor could call me at any time or immediately come and ask if I have something to feed her child with! She began to ask us about our stroller when we are not going for a walk, because it is much more convenient to ride on it! She constantly needed something from me. Constantly.
One day my patience just snapped. Our whole family got sick, and she calls:
- I'll come to you now for tea, measure your temperature so that they do not infect mine
I was shocked, honestly. I told her that we are all very contagious, fever, cough, and that if she also wants to pick up this, let him come. And she was offended! She never asked permission to come, she only presented a fact! And it was a burden to me. I wanted to feel like a free person, and not constantly serve some named girlfriend and her child, instead of enjoying my own motherhood.
And on what question I am to you. This neighbor nevertheless moved out, she had not been here for several years. Now her mother is dead, and her apartment remains. And yes, yes, yesterday I had a call from her! She happily announced that she was moving back soon and would come to visit us!
Save, dear ones! Please advise what to do!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/sosedka-reshila-chto-ya-teper-vsegda-budu-ej-pomogat-stoit-li.html
