Not everyone is given the opportunity to experience the happiness of motherhood. Yes, before it was simply impossible to imagine life without children, but now everything has changed. Now people choose not to take care of their own children, but to build a career, travel, give themselves to caring for someone else.
Someone cannot have children for health reasons, while someone deliberately refuses this. That's the second thing I want to talk about. If a person simply does not have an inner need to continue his race - this is considered normal! And no one has the right to condemn him, criticize, suggest his thoughts and rules.
But sometimes people who have chosen a childless life still have doubts. And the point is not at all that they are actually still hesitating whether they should have children or not. The point is that they decided everything for themselves a long time ago, they just for some reason are afraid that later they will regret their decision. It's time to let go of your regrets!
And that's why!
Your regrets aren't just about your own thoughts.
We live in a society, it has certain social attitudes that can make women feel guilty if they do not want children. Society compels, so you are worried.
Even if your decision is fully conscious, this very society can make you feel bad. And, if you have not completely decided, then you may even be persuaded that you still need to give birth. Is it really necessary to give birth to a child, because it is necessary? This is absolutely the wrong approach to motherhood!
Much depends on the rationality of the decision.
Scientists conducted a survey of women who abandoned motherhood, and came to the conclusion that most of them do not regret the decision made. But those who could not get pregnant in due time, for the most part, on the contrary, regret, but such people always have a choice, for example, adoption.
Someone regrets that he has children
Yes, there are some! And, by the way, there are a lot of them! And the point is not that they realized that parents are bad and that they do not love their children. They love their children, take care of them, but understand that because of the decision to give birth, their whole life went downhill. No, they are unlikely to ever admit this to you, this is taken from an anonymous questionnaire, where it is not clear who gave the answer. Believe me, there are many such parents, they just keep silent about it.
Double standards in society
People do not care how and on what you will raise your children. But if you say that you do not want them, they will begin to condemn you. And these are all the same people who will not help you if you still want to give birth. Understand that our society lives according to very strange laws, and all your attempts to please it are doomed to failure! You give birth and you cannot provide - why did you give birth? If you do not want to give birth, you are selfish, you cannot do that! Forget what they are telling you, just think about who makes you regret your decision - yourself or is it society?
Happiness is not in children
What scary things am I writing, huh? At this point, probably, many will be horrified if they have not done this even in the course of the article. Yes, you can live a happy life without children. Not everyone likes pink-cheeked toddlers who laugh, cry, please, and poop. If you want to take care of someone, it does not mean that you want a child. You can take care of the disadvantaged, sick, animals.
Not everyone in old age shines a glass of water
Give birth, will someone bring a glass of water in old age - this is not a reason to have children. Nowadays, not all grown-up children strive to help their parents, there are many reasons for this. And one of them is that the child was just given birth from selfish purposes, so that in old age the child would help and not leave alone. Many women specifically give birth in old age in order to get an assistant in the person of the child. Is this right? Is this the reason to give birth?
We can develop this topic for a long time. I will say for myself, I have children, I love them, I have always dreamed of them, and I am happy that I have them. But not everyone needs to give birth. I do not condemn women who have become childfree, and no one has the right to condemn, criticize, pity them. You don't have to be led by society, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, don't listen to anyone. This is your decision and you shouldn't regret it!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/poleznoe/ne-nado-sozhalet-esli-vy-ne-stali-mamoj.html
