How people look at you will depend not only on your appearance, but also on your inner state. Therefore, you need to start with yourself, with awareness of yourself and your emotional intelligence.
What is emotional intelligence? This is the ability of a person to understand both his own emotions and the emotions of others, this is the ability to distinguish and correctly distribute different feelings, use emotional information in order to control their behavior and thoughts. How does it help to be attractive? Well, tell me, have you come across such people who look excellent, but in communication they are tough, rude and somehow incomprehensible? Or, on the contrary, you look at a person, and he is not at all attractive, but as soon as he speaks, and that's it, he seems incredibly beautiful and charming?
And you too need to develop emotional intelligence so that you can clearly understand your own feelings and thoughts, and then convey them to others. And remember, without him, no gorgeous appearance will help you charm a man! Yes, just try it, and you will see that people began to appreciate, respect, love you more, both women and men! Therefore, I suggest you do the following:
Boost your self-awareness
In simple terms, you need to learn to control, evaluate, define your emotions. And once you get it right, you can understand your own emotional reactions and how they affect those around you. Let's say a friend tells you that she had a falling out with her partner, and you feel something unpleasant inside. You just remember that you recently had a fight with your other half. Don't tell your friend about it, but focus on what she says. At the same time, note your emotions, sensations in the body, think about your feelings.
Boost emotional self-regulation
After you learn to understand your emotions and feelings, you need to understand how they can be regulated. For example, you can calm down with tea, deep breathing, counting to 10. There are certain ways for everyone. Let's go back to the situation with the girlfriend. After her story caused unpleasant feelings in you, try to calm down, clear your head in order to pay attention to your friend.
Review your motivation
Be clear about your goals, so you can achieve them faster. Think, are you really interested in chatting with your friend, or is it just because you no longer have anyone to do it with? And be sure to watch your thoughts, what are they negative or positive? When your friend laughs, do you think she is a little eccentric or that she has a great sense of humor? When she starts to hang on the phone during your conversation, do you consider this immediately disrespectful to you, or do you think that something serious has happened to her?
Show compassion
If you start to empathize and understand how the other person is feeling, you can even help yourself in your personal life. Just watch the behavior and words of those around you to take control of the non-verbal signals that you send them. Empathy will help you identify the person's needs. If your friend talks a lot about work, then she is really important to her, and you need to ask more questions about this topic. If she constantly thinks about her sister, then you should develop the conversation in this direction. By the way, the situation with a friend is taken as an example, you can replay everything for relationships and communication with a man!
Hone your interpersonal skills
You just need to ask yourself: do you understandably communicate with this or that person, or do people have to guess what exactly you mean? You consider people's point of view, can you compromise?
These simple ways to develop emotional intelligence will help you not only better understand yourself, but also improve your relationships with others!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/5-shagov-k-tomu-chtoby-stat-priyatnym-chelovekom-dlya-okruzhajushhih.html
