Why is it harmful to rush the development and learning of children

It has long been the subject of jokes and memes, how mothers vyingly talk about their children, who went at 6 months, at 3 they write poetry themselves, and at 5 they know several languages. But is it necessary to rush the natural development child, if your own is not like that?

When a baby grows up, the desire of parents to develop him as much as possible, to teach and make him an "adult" does not fade away. On the contrary, they want more and more from the child. We will tell you why it is harmful.

How does parental haste manifest in the development of children?

1. Constant classes in "early development", the desire to teach the child to read and write (at least) before school.

2. Discussing family financial problems or conflicts with your partner with a young child.

3. Constant emphasis in education on development, study, success, useful activities, relegation to the background of arbitrary children's games, friendship, love. Not accepting defeat.

4. Teaching a child that school is a defining moment in his life.

5. Expectations of absolute obedience and discipline from the child.

Why is this harmful?

1. The child does not enjoy childhood. This is actually a carefree period, you should not plunge the child into adulthood, believing that you are thus preparing him for difficulties. He will make his own mistakes and prepare himself. You have to be on the hook.

2. The child gets the wrong impression of his worth. If you didn't get the highest mark - a loser, lost or made a mistake - you won't achieve anything in life, if you fail the exam - that's it, you will be a homeless person. The child lives in wild stress, which has no real basis, but is imposed by the parents.

3. The child does not know how to recognize his feelings and emotions. He feels and thinks what he is being "trained" for. Parents try to grow a more successful copy of themselves; as a result, the child does not become a separate, independent and unique personality, but a person completely dependent on the opinion of the parents.

4. The child does not learn to make decisions and does not know what he likes. He exclusively does what the parents demand. This can ruin the talents, abilities, aspirations hidden in him, which could turn into a favorite work of his life. And such a child does not become independent, he remains dependent on his parents, and as a result - a confused adult who does not understand what he wants in general.

5. Constant stress makes a child unhappy. In addition, it has a destructive effect on the physical level: an excess of cortisol harms memory functions, makes the body weaker, more susceptible to diseases (including psychosomatic ones).

What can you do to avoid this?

1. Give the child the right to childhood, free time and decision-making (within a certain framework).

2. Do not fuck your child with strangers. It is difficult, but such a comparison is meaningless and only puts the whole family under stress.

3. Replace gadgets with your attention and joint knowledge of the world, interesting hobbies.

4. Inspire your child that you will love and accept him with any grades and any profession that he likes.

5. Explain to your child that school is not an ideal place, teachers can also make mistakes, and grades are not a reason to love yourself less and are not an indicator of intelligence and talent.

6. Tell your child that success is not about getting a certain profession, which is considered profitable, but about doing what you love, a harmonious life in which there are friends, love, work, and hobbies. Of course, your personal example is needed here.

7. Stay positive when talking about the future. Do not scare the child with failures, the responsibility of exams, "decisive" moments. Let him know that he has loving and understanding parents who believe in him, and everything will definitely be fine.

8. Uncover the abilities and talents of your particular child. Do not impose your own aspirations that have not been achieved.

9. Help your child put knowledge into practice so that it is easier to digest and is not an empty load.

10. Protect your child from their adult problems, which are too early for him to delve into.

You will also be interested to read:

• Adults' mistakes that badly affect the development of speech of preschoolers
• How to identify hidden talents and abilities of a child
• Parent mistakes that inhibit children's development