If you want to make a "super dad" out of your husband, then avoid such expressions.
Here are 5 phrases to keep to yourself and not to voice.
"You can't be trusted with anything"
That is, you are a mother who knows everything and knows how, and he is a semblance of a parent who does not remember anything, does not know and does not know how. The father is labeled as secondary, he feels unnecessary. After all, his every mistake is raised to the rank of a disaster, and the merits are not noticed at all.
If you show a man that you do not trust him and constantly check how he treats the child, then you will finally discourage the desire to devote time to the child.
"Actually, I gave birth to him"
The child's dad, with all his might, will not be able to "surpass" this feat of yours, even if he really wanted to take it upon himself. But this is how nature works - and it is not his fault that something falls to your lot, and something to him.
Both parents have an equal voice when it comes to the child. And it is necessary to encourage the manifestation of this right on the part of the father, because he himself remembers that he participated in the birth of a child is only "partially" and does not have that natural, practically physical connection with the baby, which is Mom.
"But Lena has a husband ..."
Would you be in a hurry to improve yourself if your husband out loud compared you to some other woman? That leg is longer and slimmer, that one did not gain a kilogram after pregnancy, and that one works 2 jobs, brings up 3 children and has time to pay attention to her husband, and that one has food like from a restaurant.
Such comparisons do not lead to improvement, but only offend and cause anger. And if you "poke" your husband in the face what kind of a good husband someone has and how he surpasses yours, then from this the spouse will not break into a cake to please you."You're all father / mother ..."
And, of course, this is not being said in terms of praise. In general, speaking badly about your husband's relatives is a bad idea. Even if they are not perfect, he will protect them, which means that the conflict in your couple is guaranteed.
And if there is something in his parents that hurts your spouse very painfully, and at the same time you declare that he is exactly the same, this will offend him very much.
In fact, such a phrase does not lead to a reasoned dialogue or any kind of change. She just offends both the spouse and his family.
"We'll be fine without you at all."
In no case should you say such a phrase to your spouse if you have not made a balanced and final decision on divorce. Otherwise, a man can easily slam the door and leave you alone with the child and your self-sufficiency.
If you value your relationship with your spouse, but in the heat of emotion want to say something like that, do not equate it with zero. An incomplete family, of course, can exist normally, but this is not "great".Believe me, a man already quite acutely feels his secondary importance in your life, compared to children. Do not finish him off with such phrases that he is not needed at all. For some reason, you built relationships with him and plans for family life.
You will also be interested to read:
- What phrases should not be said to victims of violence
- 7 phrases that tired mom can't say
- 5 phrases you shouldn't say to your wife if you don't want a divorce
