All of this fosters adults with low self-esteem who constantly criticize themselves.
The complete absence of self-criticism is definitely bad. If a person analyzes his behavior, his relationships with other people, actions and mistakes, then with a reasonable self-criticism, he develops and begins to act better: more efficiently work and study, more productively communicate with others.
What are the signs that tell you that your self-criticism has already become toxic?
- You consider your successes to be an accident, and your failures and mistakes as a pattern.
- You worry that you are about to be "figured out", that you are incompetent, and fired.
- When success comes, you think you've done exactly what anyone else could.
- When you make a mistake, it seems that the "exposure" has come, and now everyone knows that you are "good for nothing."
- Every small mistake and criticism in your work knocks you out of the rut.
- You do not know how to take compliments and in return always talk about your shortcomings.
- You never ask for help and advice - lest you think you are incompetent.
- You are never happy with the result you get.
What to do with such self-criticism?
After all, unnecessary self-digging, ascribing to yourself and others the qualities that you just thought of is an ineffective and harmful waste of time.
1. Practice giving and receiving praise and compliments
Whatever one may say, but not only the salary motivates us to work, but also the fact that our efforts are seen and appreciated.
Likewise, in relations with others, we want to show our best side and get a worthy assessment of this.
Practice with your spouse: take turns praising each other for something, giving compliments. The receiving party must answer something polite, without "not at all", "but where there" and any self-criticism.Such a psychological exercise will also reveal you to each other from a new side as partners.
2. Praise yourself
If you don’t want to do it in front of the mirror, do it in your thoughts. But always regularly.
For example, before going to bed, do not think about the mistakes you made during the day, but what you did good. There are more such moments if you try to remember them.You can also keep a diary, writing down daily what you can be praised for today.
3. Try to switch quickly after mistakes
No one is immune from making mistakes. But the longer you keep reproaching yourself, the longer you will be ineffective. are under stress.
Forbid yourself to think about the mistake for more than 5 minutes if no one reminds you of it. Yes, you did something wrong. Didn't you get fired? So we passed and forgot.
4. Do the best you can
Not everyone can become a top model, but that's not a reason to go for fast food. Not everyone is born genius, but this is no reason not to read books and continue to study.
Do what you can, comparing your successes to yourself in the past, not to other people.
You will also be interested to read:
- 5 Signs Your Stress Is Dangerous
- 8 tips to stop stress eating
- 6 types of fatigue and how to deal with them
