How to communicate with "energy vampires"

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There are people, communication with whom "sucks" all your vital energy. They are called so - "energy vampires".

Recognizing an "energy vampire" is not difficult. Here are some of the features that are common to each of them:
  • total pessimism, a person constantly sees around him only bad, everything criticizes
  • a person violates your personal boundaries, climbs into your things without asking, considering it normal
  • it is impossible to please such a person, he constantly whines and complains, blaming only those around him for his problems
  • a person despises almost everyone, especially optimists, rich and successful people
  • does not agree with you in anything, the only correct opinion is his, he believes that he knows absolutely everything better than others
  • sees insult and humiliation in any of your comments or attempts to defend your interests
  • from any situation, even the smallest, they create a drama.

Agree, it is very difficult to be close to such a person, because it is simply impossible to communicate with him on equal terms, to express his opinion, and his pessimism will ruin the mood of any inveterate optimist.

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But not always communication with the "energy vampire" can be excluded from your life. For example, if this is a boss or a close relative, then at least sometimes you will still have to communicate with him. How to make it the least traumatic for your own psyche?

1. Limit communication as much as possible with the "energy vampire". If you manage not to maintain a negative dialogue, it's better to do so. So a person will simply get tired of speaking in monologues - and he will rather switch his attention from you to someone or something else.

2. Defend your boundaries. If you have neither the time nor the desire to listen to long stories that everyone around is bad and offended the unfortunate "energy vampire", then immediately at the beginning of the conversation make it clear that you have only 5 minutes, and then you rush to urgent matters.

3. Don't get caught up in his problems. Most often, it is simply impossible to solve them, and the person himself does not want this. For example, he will complain about his health, but will never go to the doctors, because they, in his opinion, do not understand anything, and he can heal himself. He will complain about the job - but reject all proposals to change it. Will scold the TV - but not try to turn it off or find a movie / program to his liking.

He will never be satisfied and happy and will not go to solving his problems - otherwise there will be nothing to complain about. Take this as a fact and do not dive deeply into the problems of a person who does not want to solve them himself.

4. Don't argue. The discussion with the "energy vampire" can be endless. He will never accept someone else's position and will not retreat from his.

5. Be proactive. So that the "vampire" does not take away excess energy from you, give part of it yourself. For example, if a colleague is constantly trying to shift responsibility and decision-making on any question, answer him as gently and caringly as possible that you believe in his strength and are sure that he will find a solution himself Problems.

6. Empathize. The endless whiner achieves this. It is possible that the sooner you show empathy, the faster he will go to "suck energy" out of someone else.

You will be interested to know how to raise an optimistic child.

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