What to do if a child shows sympathy through aggression

Usually to show sympathy through aggressive behavior apt boys. But there are also very "fighting" girls. Such children beat, bully, offend the object of their sympathy. How can you teach them to show their feelings in a more civilized way?

1. You can't just scold

This will only add aggression in the child's emotional environment. Instead of moralizing, you need to find out why the child behaves this way. One of the most common reasons is that other children tease their peers who show sympathy, call them "bride and groom", laugh. Therefore, the child with might and main shows that he is not a "groom".

2. It is necessary to show the child the correct model of behavior

It is unlikely that he sees at home how dad takes care of mom, because this period with them, most likely, has long passed and gave way to everyday issues. But without a clear example, the boy simply does not know how to show sympathy for the girl. The rules of behavior with the opposite sex are not learned in one day; this is a rather lengthy process.

3. Explain to the child the consequences of his behavior

What are the consequences of aggressive behavior? The child can get change from the offended person, the educator / teacher can punish him. If you act peacefully and offer to play together, then the girl may be shy and refuse. And if you give her a gift (an apple, a candy, a hair clip, some trifle), then she will almost certainly be happy.

But it is important to explain that the gift is disinterested. It does not oblige the girl to be friends with the boy, and it is also impossible to take the gift back.

Help your child think through the scenario in advance and decide which result is closer to him.

.4. Prepare your child that reciprocity may not exist

It may upset him, but this is life. As parents, you do not have a goal to do everything for these children to form a couple. You can suggest something to the child, but if he does not like the object of your sympathy, if a particular girl does not want to be friends with him, then this must be adequately accepted, not offending her for it.

Failure also develops a child's emotional and social intelligence. They teach that other people may be indifferent, may not want to communicate with you, but you need to take this calmly, without aggression, try to understand their feelings and motives.

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