Coping with your fear of getting pregnant and giving birth

Fear of pregnancy and childbirth most commonly associated with fear of pain. This condition is observed in about 15% of women. Some of them are afraid for objective reasons - for example, they have diseases that complicate the course of pregnancy and delivery, others have a purely psychological reason.

But most often those who are afraid of pregnancy and childbirth are those who have already gone through this, but with negative and extremely unpleasant experiences. Here, too, the help of a psychologist may be needed, but often the problem is solved by a good doctor leading a pregnancy, who can act to prevent unpleasant situations from recurring.

What exactly are women afraid of?

The list of fears is very extensive. They are afraid of miscarriage, illnesses of the unborn child, they are afraid of getting fat and losing their social status, they are afraid of labor pain, rude doctors, premature and rapid childbirth, death during childbirth, etc. Some, because of their fears, find any excuse to be assigned cesarean section.

Women who have not yet given birth are afraid because of the pressure of society, which tells them that it is "time", but they themselves do not feel this readiness. There may also be uncertainty in a partner, fear for the financial side of the issue, fear of losing your job and being "aloof from life."

Often also fears visit those who are used to doing everything "perfectly" - they are afraid of becoming imperfect mothers, even if there are no objective reasons for that.

What to do?

1. Nature has foreseen everything and wisely thought out. When a woman is already pregnant, her hormonal background is rebuilt and she already looks differently at future childbirth. The inevitability factor turns on - and the woman has several months to come to terms with it and prepare. And hormones help her a lot in this.

2. A woman should remember that she herself is the conductor of her family. She can choose where, how and with whom to give birth, how to do it in the most favorable environment and with the greatest comfort, she can choose a maternity hospital, a doctor, that is, arrange the process as much as possible in her own way discretion. And also prohibit medical interventions in the process of childbirth, if they are not aimed at saving her life or the child.

3. If the fears are so intrusive that they interfere with a normal life, the help of a psychotherapist is needed. However, for many women it is enough just to communicate with people in a similar position or have already gone through childbirth. Not those, of course, who like to tell horror stories about their births and pregnancies.

Group classes, forums, stories of successful childbirth, positive reviews about doctors and maternity hospitals - all this can calm the expectant mother and set her up in a positive way.

Also on the Internet you can find documentary footage of the process of childbirth, from the first contractions to the birth of the baby. They may seem frightening, but the more a woman watches such stories, the more ordinary and natural the process seems to her, she sees what will happen and how - and gradually gets used to this thought, childbirth no longer seems to be something unknown and frightening.

4. Separately, it is worth highlighting the category of women who have experienced perinatal loss. This is a very difficult situation, after which depression often occurs. To cope with it and tune in to a new pregnancy, you will need the help of a psychotherapist, relatives, and possibly special drugs.

To survive the loss, experts advise to wait at least a year until the next pregnancy, not to rush to "make up for the loss" without having survived it sufficiently.

You will also be interested to read:

• What vitamins do a man need when planning a pregnancy
• Postpartum swaddling: a care ritual for a young mother
• All about the second cesarean