Containment follows directly from attachment theory.
Actually, all caring parents who try to empathize with the child, not manipulating, not scolding out of the blue, this is what containment is doing.
What is the catch and drawback here?
In fact, exclusively in the parenting approach. This applies to those moms and dads who are so keen on living emotions for the child that they completely forget about the second mandatory step. After accepting and realizing emotions, you need to learn responsibility.
That is, understanding that not all negative consequences of actions are solved by mother's hugs.
On the part of the parents, this may look like an offer to think together about solving the problem, when emotions have subsided and you can look at the situation a little from the outside.
For the little ones, the solutions are offered by the parents, the older children can accumulate their own experience and knowledge and come to a decision.
Why is the responsibility phase important?
Otherwise, the habit of just complaining and running to mom, rather than solving problems, can drag on in time.
In the end, the task of parents is not only to accept and understand the emotions of the child, to comfort and support, but also teach him how to live them on his own, look for a way out, draw conclusions, be responsible for words and deeds.Actually, people who are constantly looking for a container for their emotions are often found among adults. They prefer to whine, complain, express dissatisfaction, aggression and other emotions - but just not pull themselves together in order to change their lives for the better.
You will also be interested to read:
- 5 reasons why lying is good for a child
- How to deal with other people's children who get you
- Can you spoil a child with attention?
