How not to spoil your child with too much attention

The older generation often says that modern children are too spoiled - their parents turn them into the "center of the universe" and pamper too much attention and love. Is it so? Is it possible to "spoil" child care?

About 100 years ago, theories were very widespread that children should be immediately treated like adults: do not lisp, do not be tender, set high demands, ignore whims, etc.

But then there was still no research that would show that stress for young children is very toxic, inhibits development and has a long-term negative effect on the health and psyche of the child.

Nevertheless, the ideas proved to be tenacious. Partly because each new generation lived with resentment: "I was brought up this way - and nothing", and applied the same methods on their children (just not knowing, in fact, how you can behave differently with them).

In order to cultivate independence, independence in a child, attachment to parents (or other adults who are raising a child) should lie at its basis. That is, at first the child must feel 100% safety, the reliability of "his" adults, unconditional love - and only further move to explore the world.

Without attachment, a child has no emotional and often physical support. If he is ignored, not given attention and tenderness, the child is afraid of everything, he does not know how to act in a world where everyone is against him, including his parents.

He will grow up obedient because he will be intimidated. But as soon as he reaches the age at which he feels the strength and the ability to make decisions for himself, this is where parents will receive the full return of their method of education. And they will write off the fact that "all adolescents are unbearable" and "beat a little in childhood", not realizing that just by their own methods they led to rebellious behavior, scandals and misunderstanding.

Of course, it is worth understanding what kind of attention and what kind of love a child needs. They do not mean that you need to follow the lead of any whim or manipulation (children under one year old cannot have them at all), give child 100% of the time, sacrificing his life, etc. This is the opposite extreme and overprotective, which also has negative effects.

A child's brain reaches 90% of the size of an adult's brain by age 6. It is very important in these first years of life to provide for the child's needs for love, affection, approval, attention, acceptance. This allows you to avoid excessive stress, as a result, the physiological processes are correct, the brain develops and functions well.

And in order to understand and meet the needs of the child, you need to observe him, catching the signals that he gives. In the opposite case, you let the child understand that he is alone, no one cares about his life and safety (for a small child, all his needs are a matter of life and death).

There are animal species in the world in which babies become mini-copies of adults within a few hours after birth. Giraffes, for example. But even they need the caress, love and care of their parents, no one makes demands on them as adults and does not ignore them.

 And nature made the human baby weak and completely dependent on adults for many years, because "educating" an infant in severity is nonsense, which in the long run can turn into big problems for development child.

You will also be interested to read:

• 5 oddities of American parenting that will surprise you
• 10 secrets of ideal parents - how to better understand children
• Universal cream NIVEA Soft: a budget beauty product for the whole family