How to wean grandmothers from interfering with raising a child

It is not easy with grandmothers: they often give persistent advicethat you don't want to listen to.

How to convince a grandmother not to interfere with raising a child - and at the same time keep peace in the family? Understanding.

Gently educate grandmothers about new trends

When today's grandmothers raised their children, the world was different and life was different. The ideas of what is useful and correct, which were relevant then, have changed.

And certainly none of the grandmothers rushed to modern books on education and pediatrics when grandchildren appeared.

Try to communicate your position softly and intelligibly, relying on authoritative sources. Not just saying that it is good for a child to walk barefoot and swim in cool water, but formulate a chain "how to do it right - who said so - how is it useful", then "how to do it wrong - what effects".

Arguments and facts are your best companions in dealing with grandmothers, you should be well grounded in theory.

Flatter

The grandmother has many years of experience and the main achievement is an adult (you or the child's father) who has already produced his own offspring.

And, of course, your grandmother thinks she knows more about raising children than you do. It is helpful to use a little flattery here, which will let your grandmother know how much you respect her knowledge, experience and achievements.

Praise, thank, ask how the grandmother managed to raise such an athletic son (if you speak with mother-in-law), be surprised and admire how she did everything with the children without a bunch of household appliances and helpers etc.

Speak straight

There are situations when grandmothers interfere so much in the process that there is no time to go around, you need to speak directly "head on".

For example, if the grandmother begins to treat the child with some kind of medicine that you do not approve of, or does too hot, in your opinion, water in the bathroom, or takes the child in his arms and does not want to give (of the best, it seems like motives).

Try to keep a calm tone, but show firmly that you do not want to put up with such actions. Yes, this could be the beginning of conflict and loud slamming doors. But in this case, the truth is completely on your side, because the upbringing and health of the child is exactly your responsibility.

Work in pairs

Both parents should take the same position and articulate it clearly in front of other relatives. You will not convince the mother-in-law of your innocence if the husband mumbles next to him and generally would prefer not to argue with his mother.

Parents are a team whose goal is to harmoniously raise and develop a child, to ensure his health and safety (if we talk about the goals of the couple in the role of parents, and not in general).

So, first of all, you must have consistency in the principles of upbringing and caring for a child with each other. You must be united and consistent - then grandmothers will understand that it is really accepted in your family this way and not otherwise.

Be independent

If you depend on your grandmother and her mood, then "downloading the rights" is much more difficult. For example, a grandmother sits with a child every day, and you work or do other things.

In this case, the grandmother naturally believes that her opinion should be taken into account - after all, she spends a lot of time with the child and is generally not a stranger to him.

And an open conflict of tuu will definitely harm your interests.

How to be? Organize your life in such a way that the help of grandmothers is needed as little as possible.

And if one cannot do without it, then the issues of education "on the shore" will be resolved. Before you become dependent on your grandmother, you need to agree with her that the child is being brought up according to your rules. But don't be surprised if these rules are violated as soon as you leave the house.

It will be interesting for you to read:

• 10 secrets of ideal parents - how to better understand children
• 5 signs of a perfect grandmother
• 6 bad eating habits grandmothers teach kids