How to instill discipline in your child and not injure him

When parents establish a framework within which children can act as they want and defy themselves, life appears to the child understandable - and therefore safe. He knows well where the boundaries of what is permissible are - and such predictability is needed for a baby for harmonious development.

But, of course, the children themselves do not really understand favor of restrictions, and therefore instilling discipline can be difficult.

1. Pronounce boundaries in advance

A child's whims can relate to any stage in the day's schedule: he does not want to sleep, change clothes, brush his teeth, wants to watch cartoons for a longer time, ride on a swing, etc.

Talk to your child about the time frame and your conditions in advance. Very young children do not understand what 5 or 10 minutes is, but they can understand that it is allowed to watch the last 1 cartoon or first brush their teeth, and therefore go to bed to read a book.

If you are allowing something and you know it might get out of hand (for example, the amount of sweets eaten), then set the boundaries first, and then "open access".

2. Be predictable

Stick to the rules and boundaries that you set yourself. If you constantly make concessions, violate the limits of what is permissible for the child, allow him a little more or less, then the child does not feel that your rules are binding.

Consistency plays a very important role in upbringing. If you are ready to break some rule that you have established (or even often do it), you should think about either the abolition of this restriction (it still does not apply), or over one's own compliance to the child's manipulations.

3. Speak clearly and clearly

If you mumble as if you yourself are not sure of your words, then the child will not listen to them either. Your words should not be in the background, you need to speak clearly, understandably and in the eyes of the child.

Repeatedly repeating in the back is useless, it will only drive you out of yourself. Also, don't overdo it by asking, "Okay?" - after voicing your demand. You are still setting the rules, not negotiating (they can be endless).

4. Say what to do, not what not to do

Instead of constant "don't jump", "don't run", "don't shout", "don't throw", etc. better tell the child the option of what he needs to do. For example, "Since you scattered toys, we need to clean up the order, let's put it together."

5. Explain the reasons

Prohibitions and restrictions, the reason for which the child does not understand, act on him as a challenge to do just that. Therefore, children learn well the prohibitions that relate to danger: it is possible to understand that the oven will hurt without touching it.

If you understand that you cannot simply and intelligibly explain to the child why something is not allowed, but something is possible, reconsider the relevance of this rule. Also, avoid abstract concepts: "so bad", "so ugly", etc.

6. Don't touch a child in a moment of anger

If anger has covered you with your head, make yourself a rule not to touch the child until you calm down a little. No amount of physical punishment or threats of punishment will lead to the result that you would like to get in raising a child.

You can raise him to be intimidated, quiet and obedient - but is that your parenting goal? Or is it the education of a full-fledged developed personality, independent and taught to live in society? Remember that your child copies any of your behaviors - including aggressive ones.

7. Don't expect everything to turn out right away and quickly

Immediately and quickly, children only remember bad words. Everything else is grafted gradually and consistently. Have patience - you are raising and developing a whole person, independently thinking and wayward.

You will also be interested to read:

• how to compose fairy tales and raise children with them
• how not to succumb to childish manipulations
• what to do if the child is constantly giving orders