The heroine of my story is a very pleasant woman. She has a wonderful son and a charming little daughter. Recently she told me about her problem, and I won’t know what to advise her.
Everyone has heard this phrase, like the father is not the one who gave the child life, but the one who brought up. This is in fact in our modern world all the time. But there are only women who accept children of strangers to them as relatives.
Yana was left without a mother when she was 1.5 years old. The biological mother simply left her husband with her little daughter and went in search of her female happiness. When Yana was 3 years old, a stepmother appeared in her life. But it was difficult to call her a stepmother either. Remember how in fairy tales? The woman fell in love with Yanochka very much, and raised her like a native. Now Yana has become a mother herself, and calls her stepmother nothing else but mother and grandmother.
Yana does not remember her biological mother at all, she cannot even say anything bad about her. She always considered her mother - Katya, her stepmother. The fact that Katya was not her native Yana found out only at the age of 16. And, despite the fact that her parents were afraid of her inadequate reaction, she took everything calmly.
Although Yana has long guessed about everything, because the difference with Katya they had only 15 years. In addition, it was strange that Katya had poor eyesight, like Yana's brother, and Yana herself had 100%. Genetics had to somehow influence.
I saw Yana's own mother only at the age of 20. Do you think she wanted to see her own daughter? No, she wanted money, like she is disabled, she needs help. But Yana did not care, her father, even in her childhood, deprived her mother of her rights, and now the girl had no obligations to her.
Katya cried throughout Yanochka's wedding, helped her, gave her advice, gave her jewelry. Katya's parents, i.e. grandparents helped to pay Yana and her husband the first installment on the mortgage. Although they were Yana strangers! Katya's family knew everything perfectly, but they always considered Yanochka their granddaughter.
A year after the wedding, Yana had a daughter. The mother-in-law began to insist that the baby must be taken to an ophthalmologist, because Yana's mother and her brother wear glasses. She did not lag behind, then Yana's husband had to tell her mother-in-law the whole truth.
And you know, she was so happy that she was the only grandmother for her granddaughter. She reminded about it at any opportunity: "Will you go to the arms of your own grandmother?", "Will you stay overnight at your blood grandmother?", "Did you miss your biological grandma?"
Yana tried to close her eyes to this until one occasion. Katya was walking with her granddaughter near the house, her mother-in-law saw this, and began to show the children how they could entrust their child to a stranger! A scandal broke out. Yana defended her mother Katya as best she could. But the mother-in-law stood her ground, then Yana reminded her that the mother-in-law herself also raised her son not with his father, but with his stepfather, and that he, too, was, in fact, a stranger to her daughter.
My husband's mother fell silent, she did not expect such a turn, she did not prepare for such a thing. She was just offended and left. Now Yana's husband insists that she make peace with his mother, try to find a compromise. Yana's mother also persuades her to make peace with her mother-in-law, to yield to her. But Yana does not give up, she does not want to indulge this insidious woman.
The question for you is, what should Yana do? The mother-in-law is really a dear grandmother for Yana's daughter, besides, she is the mother of her husband. And the stepmother brings up Yanochka from the age of three, and has become a real mother for her? What to do: choose or seek a compromise?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/svekrov-schitaet-sebya-edinstvennoj-babushkoj-no-u-rebenka-yany-tozhe-est-mat.html
