Intentioned parents trying to help the child in all - because they have more experience, knowledge and energy. Than it can be harmful and what is not exactly need to do instead of the child?
What not to do for the child, so he grew up a self-sufficient?
1. HometasksThe painting, when the whole family in the evenings sitting on the lessons - already familiar cliché, which means that the family has a schoolboy. Parents try so hard to help a child that he did not have to strain: the Pope to solve puzzles, Mom draws / molds / sew / Hell, my grandmother wrote an essay, and the master's grandfather a stool on a lesson labor. Intellectual development of the whole family is in full swing, but what he learns with the child?
It may seem that without the assistance and control of the child will simply cease to do their homework. But if you put in front of him is not no problems, you should not wait for them to perform. Help your child so plan your day and time for lessons, so that he could not perform all haste. If something does not work - not in a hurry to do everything yourself, and help to fix a specific error, push in the right direction. But the child will be proud of good grades, which will be just his achievement and motivation to learn more.
2. to choose a professionA huge number of students every year who storm the legal and economic faculties - is is not an indication that the 17-year-olds most in life you want to engage in financial or legal profession. But their parents are sure that in these professions child succeed.
By the choice of profession and educational institution really need to be approached thoughtfully and with the calculation of shares. However, the main criterion should be the desire of the child, his aptitudes and abilities. Otherwise, it can turn abandoned their studies, scandals, or simply the loss of a few years of life for a useless education. It is difficult to accept this, but your baby can be happy, traveling by bus crashed with its own rock band and did not get a higher education. And for their pressure when choosing a profession of gratitude you will not wait.
3. Rummaging through his personal things and throw themEven if your child has knocked 30 years old and lives separately, and raising children of their own - be careful with his personal belongings that are left in your home. It could be a box with some notes, postcards, notebooks, paintings, trinkets, pictures that are dear to him. Do not think that all of this - the distant past, which is your grown up child remembers.
No matter how many years may be your child - give him an opportunity to dispose of their belongings. Want to clean up - fold in one box all that, in your opinion, needs organizing, and give it to the child. Let him decide what to do with these things.
Of course, in any case can not read personal diaries, notes, poems, and other records of your child. If you demand respect for yourself, and manifests it to growing near the little man.
4. Solve problems with your friends and the "second half"If your child has a conflict with peers - not in a hurry to tear aid. In some cases, adult intervention is necessary. For example, when a child humiliated and physically bullied classmates. However, if you do not talk with these children and their parents and teachers who may have witnessed such behavior.
If the child has problems in romantic relationships - do not interfere as long as he does not ask for advice. Your participation in his love affairs should be limited to talk heart to heart, if the child feels a need for it. Call girl or guy of your child and their parents - is superfluous.
Remember that making mistakes - it is an inevitable stage of development and maturation. Your task - to be around and to control the situation "from a distance", so as not to miss the warning signs that it is unsafe.
You will be interested to know both parents to answer intimate questions children.