Parents always want the good for their children. But sometimes a careless word or phrase, they can not only hit the self-esteem, but also injure the psyche of the little man, not even knowing it. What phrases in any case we can not speak to the child?
These 4 Common phrases can wreak in a childcomplexes,that will interfere with him the rest of his life. Remember them and never utter!
"You do not succeed."Here everything is quite clear. you obviously setting up a child to loseand give him to understand that you should not even try to do something good, because still the result will be zero. Many mothers are hoping that this phrase will motivate your child. He allegedly got angry and do everything the other way around, in spite of my mother. But, alas, in 95% of cases it is not. It is not necessary to project onto the child's adult behavior. Baby can not break so much failure, as the realization that the closest person in the world does not believe in it.
"Well, it's easy!". It's easy for you, change for the third decade, to sew a button on their own or ride a bicycle. The child in all of this is still do not know how. And telling him about how it is easy and simple, you do not help and motivate, and give your child understand that he is incompetent. He thinks, "Since it's easy and simply, it means that only fails me." So what will become of his self-esteem? So do not hesitate to admit out loud that the problem faced by the child at the moment requires some effort. And when the kid can handle it, be sure to praise him for his new achievement.
"I'll do everything myself."Believe me, excessive guardianship harm the child as much as the lack of parental attention. Remember the issue of the magazine "Jumble" when restless grandmother helps her grandson: provides the toy kid, repairing a bicycle when he was a teenager ...
And in the end it has a hefty fellow with a beard and under two meters tall shouting "Ba-a-abushka!" So she shoved out of the mud a huge dump. You have to teach a child to independence in early childhood. At 5 years old, he is quite able to remove himself and put a pile of his clothes. At 7 it can be released to the shop, which is located in your same house or near the street. And so the list goes on. Otherwise, the child will think that he is everything he is not capable.
"So many times I repeat to you yet?" or "Once you do that." We are talking about the habit of parents poke their children face in their errors. And even the best mom and dad are not immune from this. Understand that the ideal people simply do not exist, and well, that your child makes mistakes. At the very least, this means that he is doing something. And if you continue in the same spirit and to reproach him for the slightest mistakes, it will only increase the fears. Tell the child where and what he was mistaken not only possible, but necessary. Just not worth it, like a parrot every time to remind about his blunders. This may be so insulting, that the child will lose all faith in themselves.
We all want our children to grow the most kind, intelligent, strong and skillful. But choose to do the right techniques. Do not criticize a child once more, and better support the board or just a kind word. And do not forget to praise for the result of the work done. And let your children grow up healthy and happy!
Also be sure to ask about how to raise children in Japan: 5 rules of Japanese mothers
