After a quarrel, every person feels very hard, both the instigator of everything that happened, and the one who is offended. It’s pretty hard emotionally. Imagine that you and a loved one uttered a lot of unpleasant words to each other, and only now realized that you had taken a bad step. How do I fix it? How to make peace and restore the trust of a loved one? Try These 5 Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship After an Fight!
How to make up properly?
Understand what caused your fight
You must understand exactly what is the cause of your frustration. Sometimes on emotions we begin to act instinctively. And, unfortunately, our actions and words are not really a reflection of what we really think. Think, because your loved one can be very offended by you for something, and no less than you. Even an ordinary quarrel can be a real traumatic event for a person. And, as strange as it sounds to you, the victim is not one, but two. Therefore, try to understand what is the reason for the quarrel, do it as soon as you cool down after the breakdown. Review in your mind each of your actions and words. How it all began, how events developed. This is important in order to accurately find the cause of everything that happened.
Take your time to put up immediately, give each other time to cool down
You said a lot of unpleasant words to each other, so you need to be alone with your own thoughts. Only if there is a quarrel between, say, a husband and wife, you should not spend the night elsewhere. Just sit each in a separate room to calm down and think things over. If you leave the apartment, you will show your indifference and willingness to part. Just retire, calm down, think it over. Some of you will decide before the other to go to reconciliation, but do not rush. Better to be alone enough time to put your thoughts in order.
Talk and listen
After enough time has passed to think things over, you can start talking. Here you need to be more careful and attentive. Don't rush things, keep calm. It hurts both of you. And you can't rush to talk. If you are not yet ready to listen to how a person is hurting, to listen to his position and his feelings, then do not start a conversation, otherwise you will only aggravate everything! You do not need to completely blame the person in a conversation, do not start with reproaches and nagging. If you want to express your true feelings, just say phrases - "I am in pain", "I felt", instead of - "you did", "you hurt", etc. Don't let the quarrel resume! First of all, you are talking not in order to find out everything, but in order to make peace, find a compromise, solve the problem. Try to keep your emotions to yourself, don't insult the person. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable, it will show your sincerity and openness. Remember not only to speak, but also to listen. Do not interrupt, because it would be unpleasant for you if you were interrupted and not allowed to express your emotions and feelings! An important part of the conversation is admitting your mistakes. A simple apology may not be enough. You need to make sure that your partner understands that you are in fact repenting, regretting your fight, and wanting to make up. Promise not to make any mistakes from now on!
Think about your feelings and attitudes towards each other.
There can be many situations in life that inevitably lead to quarrels. Therefore, do not forget that you are dear people to each other, you value each other. Keep this in mind for the future, and control yourself if you suddenly have a disagreement. With your words and actions, you can destroy your relationship again.
Forgive and forget
If you have taken the path of reconciliation, then you should sincerely forgive the person and forget what happened between you. If you constantly remember everything, remind, then your relationship will not be trusting and strong. Learn to leave everything in the past. You shouldn't tell the person that you have forgiven them if you don't really feel it. Because when a new quarrel happens, you will definitely remember the previous one, which will only aggravate the drama of what is happening.
If you want to continue to communicate with a person, or you think that your relationship has a future, then follow these recommendations after a quarrel!
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The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/5-shagov-k-vosstanovleniju-otnoshenij-posle-ssory.html
