Now many young couples strive to give birth to a baby almost immediately after the wedding. After all, children are wonderful, they are the fruit of their love and blah blah blah. I believe that a child, first of all, is a responsibility. And future parents do not fully think through all the nuances of their life after the birth of a baby. In most cases, such "hurry-ups" then throw off the child on the grandparents, who are also not particularly happy with the new load received as a gift from their dear children.
To be honest, many parents are so happy that their daughter or son is finally starting a family. They are glad that now you can devote less responsibility to your child, you can devote time to yourself. And then, bam, and a surprise in the form of a pink-cheeked toddler-grandson. And you asked grandparents, do they need it?
Does the child need a grandmother?
For some reason, it is so accepted in our country that a grandmother simply has to give up on her life and help children with grandchildren. She must quit all her affairs and devote herself entirely to a little baby. Of course, I do not argue that this is very good, but only if the woman herself wants it. But not everyone shares this position. Many grandmothers work, and they just do not have enough time and energy to babysit their grandson. Others do not at all strive to help the young, and excuse themselves with the words that they are still tired with them, and want to rest, live for themselves ...
Modern women become grandmothers at the age of 40-60. Well, is it possible at this age to call a woman a grandmother? Of course not. She has a job, a hobby, maybe sports, travel. She realized herself, raised children, and while she was raising, she languished in the house, and did not realize herself in any way, took little care of herself. And so she retired, or didn’t come out, and clearly planned all her time. She began to play sports, yoga, goes to the theater, to a restaurant, to a beautician, attends courses for development, studies foreign languages, spends weekends in the country, etc.
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I believe that every "grandmother" has the right to all this, especially if in her youth she could not fulfill her dream. And here is such a gift from heaven - the children declare that she is obliged to sit with their baby, that she should “have fun” less, and direct her energy into a more correct channel, into raising her grandson. Such an act is selfish, because the children do not ask to sit with their grandson, but confront the grandmother with a fact.
But a modern grandmother is not eager to plunge into such chores again, wash diapers, and fiddle with a small lump all day. To which children consider her to be selfish, selfish and generally a traitor.
So who is right and who is wrong?
Young parents should understand one simple thing! Responsibility for their child rests entirely on their shoulders. If they decided to give birth to a child, it means that they had to think in advance about who will spend time with him and raise him.
Let's say grandparents are happy to mess with their grandson, but this does not mean that you need to completely give up the upbringing of your child to them. You are giving birth for yourself, not for your grandmother!
Why your parents should sacrifice themselves for your children. They don't have to, they don't have to, they can't! No, you, of course, can count on them in some emergency, but on an ongoing basis, a child should not spend time with his grandmother, even though with his beloved. On this basis, resentment and conflicts very often arise.
Another situation is when a grandmother herself decides to devote herself to her grandchildren, and spends time with them with pleasure. It's good when both sides don't mind. A grandmother is an important member of the family, and she needs to communicate with her grandchildren. She can share her skills, knowledge, wisdom, tell children what to do best for them. But she is not obliged to completely shoulder all the responsibility on her shoulders.
Another opinion
It is understandable that grandmothers and grandfathers are not obliged to fiddle with their grandchildren all their old age. But different situations happen in life. For example, mom needs to go to work, she needs to go to the hospital, leave for a session, etc. This is where I think the help of grandmothers should appear. After all, native people should help each other. And it happens that grandmothers and in such a difficult life situation refuse their children. And then, years later, they wonder why no one comes to them, why they are not invited to visit, why they are not called? Draw your own conclusions!
What do you think about this?
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The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/poleznoe/nuzhna-li-vnukam-babushka.html
