There is a category of people who do not miss their opportunity to turn the conversation into a conversation about their problems. But everyone has problems, it's just that not everyone can talk about them openly. So the complainants will find a reason to whine. Troubles at work: arrogant colleagues, strict boss; troubles in the family: the husband is inattentive, the children do not obey; failures in personal life: all men need only one thing, quarrels with their beloved; communication problems: terrible neighbors, my mother does not understand me, a friend calls only when she needs something; health problems, etc. The complainer will always find a topic to pour out all the negativity accumulated in him on the interlocutor. But you shouldn't listen to complaints!
Someone will say: well, what are friends, relatives, close people for then? After all, someone wants to pour out everything that is in his soul, cry, speak out. Of course, it is always useful to listen to advice from third parties, but, again, there is a category of people who constantly complain! But our upbringing and politeness do not allow us to reject the "poor thing." But it's worth knowing that listening to complaints is a huge toll on us!
Why can't you listen to complaints?
If you think that, in principle, you will not suffer from listening to another plaintive story, then I will tell you that the complainants themselves only make themselves worse. More precisely, you make them worse! They find “free ears” in your face, and what do they do? That's right, they use you like a handkerchief for tears, splashing out their failures and failures in life on you every day. But the fact is that such people get used to whining about any reason to such an extent that they are in no hurry to change anything in their lives. That's the harm to them. They only complain, but they sit still!
Well, now about the reasons why you still should not listen to other people's complaints.
You are losing vitality
You've probably noticed that after you talk to the complainant, you feel like a squeezed lemon? Yes, this is true, because other people's complaints suck all the strength out of a person. In addition, the complaints of the interlocutor attract a lot of trouble and negativity to you.
You are being manipulated
As I said above, the complainant finds himself a “victim” who listens to him all the time and does not miss the opportunity to whine again. It's just that there are ordinary whiners, and there are those who whine deliberately, for selfish purposes. Do you know what for? So that the interlocutor begins to feel guilty that everything is so good for him, but the complainant has problems. Therefore, a person tries to help the sufferer, and often does this to the detriment of himself.
Your emotional state worsens
It is very difficult for our psyche after a large stream of negativity emanating from the complainant. Here not only a feeling of guilt appears and strength is lost, but also an emotional imbalance occurs, negative thoughts appear, and the work of the brain is also disrupted. Many people are so shocked by the complaints of the interlocutor that they cannot come to their senses for a very long time.
Your outlook on life is changing
Over time, a person who constantly listens to complaints turns into a real whiner himself. Even if you have always been an optimist and saw the world around you exclusively in a positive color, things can change very quickly.
What then is to be done?
Of course, take away your politeness and upbringing. You must ignore the complainant, and it will definitely save your strength, energy, brain and nervous system.
Here are some tips from experts:
- communicate less with complainants, do not call or invite them to visit;
- do not go anywhere with them, and if you meet them on the street, try to find urgent matters;
- say that you are not interested in the complainant's problems and that he should solve them himself;
- do not sympathize, do not offer help, stop worrying about the complainant;
- learn to say no and other phrases that will set your personal boundaries and prevent the complainant from continuing to whine.
For those who are still afraid to seem rude, callous and cold to people, I can only say one thing: this is your life, and only you can decide whether to listen to other people's complaints or live a full life.
Take care of yourself, ignore the complainants, and you will soon notice that your life has become much brighter and more joyful!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/4-vazhnye-prichiny-pochemu-nelzya-slushat-zhalobshhikami-i-kak-sebya-ot-nih-zashhitit.html
