Many of our problems in adulthood have their roots in childhood. And, if in childhood adults do not pay any attention to the feelings and needs of their child, he acquires certain attitudes that spoil his life in the future.
These attitudes begin to take root in the human head. Already in adolescence, children feel insecure and find it difficult to know themselves. As they get even older, they cannot build adequate relationships, have low self-esteem, and are unable to make the right choice.
Here are the attitudes that emotional neglect in childhood "gives" to a person
You can't be too sad and too happy
In childhood, a person experiences feelings much brighter. And just imagine, the child is enthusiastic, or disappointed, and at such moments he need the support and help of an adult, someone who can teach him how to manage his own emotions and understanding yourself. Instead, the parents "upset" the baby, and he is given the instruction that all his emotions are excessive. The child learns to suppress his feelings and emotions.
His emotions are his weakness
As a child, a child can get upset when something goes wrong with him. He can be angry, in pain. And in such moments he needs reassurance from adults, which will help him learn to calm down on his own. But instead, the child realized that emotions are weakness, now an adult scolds himself for having these very emotions in general.
His preferences and desires mean nothing.
Children have their own needs. Something they like, something they don't. And adults need to pay attention to this, so that they are interested in what their child wants. If the child did not have this from the parents, then he later realized that all his needs do not matter at all, and desires do not mean anything.
Talking about his problems is a burden to others
The child has quite a few problems that parents may generally consider insignificant. What other grade in math, when mom has a whole mountain of household chores, what new bike can we talk about when dad needs to buy spare parts for the car? But a deuce in childhood is a big problem, and a broken one is big - it means that you won't be able to have fun with friends. And the child learns to be silent about his problems, because they are a burden to others. And, having matured, he tries to keep his mouth shut so as not to complicate the life of others.
Tears are a sign of weakness
For some reason, mothers say to many children who start crying from hurt or pain: “don't cry,” “don't dare cry,” “don't cry,” or, specifically to the boy, “men don't cry.” And this leads to the fact that, having matured, a person understands that crying means showing weakness. But crying is normal. And it's not normal to shame a child for his tears.
Showing feelings leads to judgment
Secrecy, fear that they will not understand you, closeness, callousness, coldness - all this also comes from distant childhood. If a child in childhood was condemned for showing his feelings, then he will hide his emotions, because he will be afraid that they will start thinking badly about him.
Anger must be suppressed
In childhood, anger and anger are natural manifestations. And the task of parents is to explain to their child why anger arises, and how it can be overcome. But, if instead of this dad or mom did not allow to show their disappointment and anger, then the child realized that anger needs to be suppressed, because it is bad.
Waiting for help from others leads to frustration
Like adults, children need help, advice, support. But, if the parents did not give it, then another setting appears: you should not rely on others, otherwise you will be disappointed. Therefore, having matured, a person does not even try to ask anyone for help, because he is sure that he will be disappointed.
His stories are not interesting to others
As a child, a child has many questions that he needs answers to, discoveries await him all around that he wants to share with everyone. And first of all I want to share with my family. But, if the parents do not even pretend that they are listening to their baby, and are not interested in how the child went through the day, with whom he became friends, what he learned new, then the child becomes isolated. And this goes with him into adulthood, he does not tell others anything, because he thinks that no one is interested in it.
He is lonely in this world
The child needed parents, their attention, support, advice, a joint pastime, but instead he saw that no one needed, because everyone was busy with their own affairs. Therefore, he realized that he was absolutely alone in this world!
Is it about you? After you've read all of this, you should realize that none of this is true! Get all these attitudes out of your head. Do you know how you really need to count?
If you have feelings, you are a healthy and strong person.
You must listen to yourself, your needs and desires.
Tears help release negativity.
Talking about your problems will help solve them.
Showing feelings will help those around you get to know you better.
Anger must be listened to, but not suppressed.
Help from people helps in teamwork and brings people together.
Your stories are interesting to others, so don't hide them.
Finally, you are not alone in this world!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/poleznoe/10-ustanovok-kotorye-oshibochno-poluchili-ljudi-ispytavshie-emocionalnoe-prenebrezhenie-v-detstve.html
