The topic of divorce has already been hackneyed to such an extent. It has been discussed many times what is actually better: to get divorced right away if love has passed, or to continue living together for the sake of children. Of course, I am more inclined to the first option, but the reality is that you need to decide on the basis of a specific case. I want to tell you the story of my friend. Two years ago, she and her husband divorced, and everything seemed to start to improve, but her son suddenly stunned her with a statement that he wanted to live with his father.
It is a pain for any mother when a child suddenly decides that "there" he is better than with her. The friend's son was already quite an adult. When his parents divorced, he was only 4 years old. The whole divorce process took little time, the decision was mutual, the kid somehow calmly reacted to everything. He continued to live with his mother, saw his father, and only two years later he suddenly collected his toys and accessories in a backpack, strictly ordered the cats not to be naughty, and told my mother that he would live with Dad.
My friend was in complete shock, she, as best she could, tried to raise her son, poured all her care and affection on him, did not refuse anything. The boy regularly saw his father, although the man had already had another family. A friend also had a husband who had an excellent relationship with the boy. What was wrong, she did not understand. Probably, many mothers dream that their children would at least temporarily go to their grandparents or father's, as in this case. But my friend never dreamed about it, instead of enjoying freedom and rest, she roared for days on end when her son was taken by his father.
After 5 days, the boy called and asked how much more he could be with his father, his friend replied that as much as he wanted, hung up and started hysterical. The next minute she was already going to her ex-husband's home to return her son. She called him and said to collect the child. He was apparently already tired of the baby, obediently collected his things, and went out to the entrance, heading towards the ex-wife.
The son roared, he made a real hysteria, it seemed he did not want to see his mother at all. A friend nevertheless took him, out of emotion she even allowed him to watch cartoons and eat chips all day. But the boy was distracted for a while, and then he roared again, and so on in a circle, until he fell asleep exhausted.
The next morning, the boy woke up with tears again, refused breakfast, and just sat on the couch with his favorite typewriter in his hands. A friend could not stand it, she sat down to her son, hugged him, and asked: "Can I help you with something?" At first the boy was silent, and then he said: "I want you and dad to live together!" A friend began to explain that adults sometimes disagree when they stop loving each other. But the boy, of course, did not understand anything: "Are you divorced because of me?" A friend was taken aback: “No, what are you? Both me and dad love you very much! Adults often live separately, and no one is to blame for this, it just happens... ”.
The boy climbed onto his mother's lap and breathed out in relief. Sometimes children confuse their parents in such a dead end, from which, it seems, there is no way out at all. Adults begin to look for a reason, punish, on the contrary, pamper children, seek help on the Internet or from psychologists. It becomes incomprehensible what the child is trying to achieve - manipulates, pisses off, checks mom / dad, shows his character?
My friend was looking for a way out for a long time, and he was very close. And you just had to talk to your son in order to understand that for him the divorce of his parents was a real blow. And he, albeit belatedly, endured it very difficult.
Well, again I want to know your opinion. What to do? Someone is inclined to believe that one cannot build out of oneself loving children in the name of happiness. But it's not fair to play in a happy family, children will feel the tension between their parents. On the other hand, based on the example of my friend, one can understand that divorce is very difficult for children, and sometimes you can find out about it much later. And it's still good that in this case everything ended well for them, and it could have been even worse. What do you think about this?
