Many parents are now trying to educate their child in equality. But this harms both his life and his psyche. Real equality will come only when there is equality of opportunities that are provided by personal labor. If the child does not understand this, then social failures await him in the future.
Think about what is your goal in raising a child? For me, the main goal of upbringing is to teach my child to solve 3 life tasks.
- How to realize oneself in society without the help of anyone.
- How to provide for yourself and your own needs without the help of anyone.
- How to settle your own needs and emotions without the help of third parties.
That's all! And the rest is lyrics, and nothing else can replace these 3 tasks. If you have a child, then you take responsibility for teaching him how to solve these 3 problems.
But all this equality spoils children, it is even dangerous for their psyche. When, on the contrary, there is inequality, then there will be motivation to develop skills. If your child thinks that he is on an equal footing with you, he will not have to get up and do something, and he will not move to solve these important 3 problems. As soon as the child learns to solve these things, then he will become equal to his parents. But even then, there will be some inequality if parents, for example, continue to develop. In addition, the advice and wisdom of parents will always be above everything, which means that again we can talk about inequality.
If a person does not have respect for the wisdom and experience of someone who has skills and capabilities greater than him, he is showing rudeness. And this means that a series of rakes awaits him on the path of life. After all, the child imagines that he is already equal to someone who is not equal at all.
Because of equality, children live in illusions, they believe that they have the same rights as their parents, but this is real nonsense. So learn to raise your child correctly. I'm not talking about the omnipresent severity, but your child should understand that you are always head and shoulders above him, it should respect you, reckon with your opinion.
So let's summarize all of the above. There are rules that your child needs to understand by the time they come of age.
- Nobody owes him anything in this life.
- Only the one who pays sets the rules.
- Giftedness and uniqueness in real life have absolutely no weight. They develop in a person only pride and a sense of their own superiority.
- Only the ability to build social interactions gives a person weight. They bring results in the form of full psychological and financial independence from anyone.
- If your child wants to set his own rules, let him pay. And the zeal to be on a par with the one who pays and at the same time not have a penny is rudeness.
- In order for those around him to respect his personal boundaries, needs and desires, he will have to earn it by "contribution" to the common cause. It's important to remember that authority doesn't come out of nowhere.
- You need to develop here and now, only then will it give results. And the expectation of an ideal situation, conditions and time leads to real degradation. If your child has decided to become someone, he will have to accept the conditions of life as they are, with limitations and problems.
What do you think about this? Are you for equality with children or do you support my point of view?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/uchite-rebenka-etim-3-veshham-eto-osnovnaya-zadacha-v-vospitanii.html
