As is often the case, all our problems and fears in adulthood are laid in childhood. The main problem is when a child was disliked in childhood, as a result of which he grew up into an unbalanced, notorious adult with a large number of other problems.
Parents are an important part for a child, therefore everything they say is laid in the subconscious of children, as the truth. But often parents themselves do not understand what they are saying, thereby introducing into their child a negative that harms his adult life. As adults, people tend to rethink their childhood. It is then that claims and grievances appear against elders, because shortcomings in upbringing are noted. One of the parents tightly controls the child, showing overprotection. Then the baby turns into a dependent adult. But it happens when parents, on the contrary, pay little attention to their child, and it turns out that the parents did not like ...
Already at the age of 4, the child's brain is finally formed, and by the age of 6, the structures that are responsible for emotions are fully formed. If the child is given little emotion and care, dislike will definitely arise due to the underdevelopment of these structures.
7 signs of an unloved child
Distrust of others
One of the main signs that in childhood a person received little love from their parents. All this comes from adolescence, when patterns of personality behavior are formed. A bad, cold, tense atmosphere in the family leaves a negative imprint on the child. Scandals, screams, reproaches will form in the child difficulties in building relationships with people. He will be distrustful, overly cautious, and suspicious.
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Difficulty expressing emotions
You can also add a lack of empathy here. A person who was not loved in childhood, who did not receive the proper amount of care and attention from loved ones, is not capable of compassion. He does not know how to express his emotions, and easily succumbs to emotional pressure from others.
Perfectionism
Parents often in childhood not only dislike their children, they also scold them for any oversight. And what do the children do then? Correctly try to think through absolutely every step in order to make everything perfect. And this goes with them from year to year until adulthood.
Choosing a toxic partner
Unloved children have no idea about a strong and healthy family, so they often choose a toxic person as their partners. And they can live in fear and horror throughout their lives, believing that this happens to everyone.
Low self-esteem and anxiety
An unloved child becomes an adult who worries about any trifles, who constantly feels in danger and worries about everything. An adult who does not love himself is considered unworthy, a failure.
Pessimism and depression
From childhood, close people instill in children their importance for the world, trust in others. If there is a constant negative feeling in the family, then the child becomes closed and is reborn into a pessimist. And such an adult is constantly depressed for any reason.
Dependence on someone else's opinion
Adults disliked in childhood are very susceptible to criticism of others, they somehow arbitrarily act as others advise them to do. They try to "get" parental love, pleasing friends, acquaintances and even strangers. Others' opinions are very important to them, and criticism can lead them to depression.
A word of caution to parents
It is clear that if a person has already grown up and was disliked since childhood, then he needs to look for help from a specialist. What advice can you give to parents who are currently raising their children?
Give your child tenderness, care and love. It is impossible to “overlove” your baby, let him feel completely satisfied in this regard.
Praise your child more than scold. We are all wrong, do not immediately criticize the baby, first figure it out. And do not forget to praise even small achievements.
Become an optimist, positive, and upbeat person. Show your child that the world around you is a safe place and there is no need to be afraid of anything. The more you shake about everything, the more anxious your child will be.
Children perceive their parents' depression and irritability by taking it personally. Therefore, keep yourself in control, and if you cannot cope, do not be afraid to contact a specialist.
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The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/7-priznakov-nedoljublennogo-rebenka.html
