In our modern world, it seems that everything is completely differently arranged. The most important thing is not in progress, but in the fact that people have become kind of soulless, cruel, strange. And it is very difficult in our time to meet "your" person.
For some reason, now it has become like a rule in society - to play love, take advantage of a person, and then leave him. And at the same time, there is no fault of any particular person in this. This is the kind of culture in which you can meet a lot of people on the internet today. We believe that we can find someone better, kinder, smarter, more fun, richer than our partner. And yes, perhaps there will be such a person, but he will eventually turn into “not that person”.
The problem is that a person lives in a world full of people, and he, like everyone else, really wants to be noticed. Some people need it because of boredom, others to raise their self-esteem, and still others simply cannot live with one person all the time, they need variety, a change of partners, a change of faces and bodies ...
A very terrible disease in our generation is hobby. You can hear from many people that it is allegedly not fair to expect a person to focus on one thing. They say they don't understand how you can expect someone to start putting all their energy into one the only person, if there are no guarantees that the relationship is "for centuries", that the relationship is then all the same will end. How can you possibly hope that for the sake of one person, your partner will take and omit all other options? I believe that it is precisely because of this that many of us still cannot meet our man!
We are afraid to trust a stranger. We are afraid to give our heart and soul, we are afraid that we will be trampled. Do you know why? Because we ourselves are capable of this!
We all expect that we will find a better person, and then we bite our elbows alone, trying to close the longing for one with others. And so it can be indefinitely ...
We keep in touch with those who we do not need and are not interested in. And we are so afraid to take an important step in order to finally enter into a strong relationship.
Why it happens?
You meet a new person with whom you feel good, interesting, and fun. And you even think that you can get something real. It seems to you that you can build a truly high-quality relationship. You even plan for the future, clearly imagine how well you will be together. But then, without even taking a step, you suddenly start to doubt. You doubt, but the relationship continues. In general, everyone does this because they are afraid of loneliness. And in such a relationship with the constant presence of doubts, you dream that someone better and more interesting will "turn up" for you.
You’re afraid of being vulnerable for a reason. This is because your heart has already been broken once. By the way, all for the same reason, only you were the very person who was looking for a replacement. And now you are afraid that everything could happen again. So you don't get attached, you focus on yourself, you don't try to develop a relationship. Because you are sure that you will step on the same rake again.
But why, if this is repeated all the time, you don't take the risk and try? Why don't you open up? If you know that you will be scared anyway, is there any point in controlling it?
That is why it is so difficult to find "your" person in our time. Because we ourselves do not know what we are looking for. Because we are afraid that nothing will work out, everyone is afraid, and therefore we are in a “stupid” relationship, dreaming that someday an ideal person in all respects will be found.
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The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/pochemu-tak-slozhno-najti-svoego-cheloveka-v-nashe-vremya.html
