How to teach a child to talk about their problems

Every parent dreams of having enough trusting relationship with the child, so that he could share any problem. How to achieve this?

In the early years of a child's life Mom and Dad for him - the whole world, he trusts them clearly divided every thought. But as they grow older the child's changing interests and expanding circle of friends and authorities, because parents should a lot of effort to maintain the trust of their grown-up miracle. That psychologists advise?

Develop emotional intelligence of the child

This is very much to say, because a well-developed emotional intelligence really solves a lot of problems in life. Recall that emotional intelligence - the ability to adequately express their emotions, to understand the emotions and feelings of others, the ability for empathy, empathy, teamwork, respect other people's boundaries and interests.

And all this is not born with the child and develop over a lifetime due to, inter alia, the efforts of his parents.

What parents can do for the development of emotional intelligence of the child?

First, by sharing their emotions and experiences. It is important not to overdo it and do not pass on to the child that load of negativity and adult problems, that he could not bear and decide. That is, it is not necessary to share with the child of your marriage problems or dissatisfaction with the authorities, however, you can explain that you are angry at a spouse, because it did not meet your expectations in a particular situation. Or upset because of the increase was a man who you think deserves it as much as you.

That is not necessary to completely shut down and as a result pluck your bad mood on the child, but also to explain the emotions and feelings need to be as gently as possible, focusing on what you feel and not on the fact that someone is there for some reason, bad.

Second, remember that the discussion should not only negative emotions, but also positive. "I am glad that you have everything worked out," "I feel sad when you have a bad mood," "I am happy when you smile", "I'm angry because you did not fulfill that promise."

Third, to help the child to express his emotions, "See, you're happy when we spend together time "," Are you angry because I was tired, "" You're worried, because in front of a meeting with strangers people. "

Remember that the more open you are to the child - the more open it is to answer. If the family is not accepted between parents and children or between adults just to say "I love you" to embrace, to show their affection, calmly express dissatisfaction - the confidence, alas, will not.

Ask questions

Only non-standard: "How are you?", "How's school?", "Do you eat?", "How much will?". Ask what the child feels interested in his experiences. Try to do this tactfully as possible, so as not to climb into the soul, especially when dealing with an adolescent. Questions must comply with the child's age. The child can ask if he liked the book, that he likes the new toy if he misses dad, when he at work. In older children, it may be asked how they feel before an important test than like the new teacher than impressed scanned film or read the book.

Refill «trust bank»

It's simple: if you praise a child, laughed together and shared some his thoughts and feelings - the bank added. If you have a conflict between, deception, misunderstanding - the bank is emptied. And he emptied more active than is replenished because of the completion of the necessary work constantly, otherwise the relationship with the child at risk of deadlock.

Do not criticize your child for his feelings

Feelings and emotions arise spontaneously in people - this process can not be controlled. If a child feels anger and anger towards you - it is unpleasant, but it does have that right. But the way to express emotion - it is a question of education and self-control. Because you need to teach a child to restrain yourself if you want, for example, hit someone in anger or break a thing.

emotions often desperately need a way out. If parents do not teach a child to find his - his aggression can send not only to others but also to himself. Because the task of parents - in any case not to judge appeared emotion and help to cope with it and add your own negativity.

Be honest with the child

Sincerity is not only needed in dealing with the child himself. If he sees you regularly someone deceive, dissemble, pretend - whether it be friends, relatives or complete strangers - child understands that you can not trust you, because you can easily get used to the role and deceive not blink of an eye. If you want your child to trust you to show that you really can trust. Do not share secrets, which he shared with you, and not to undermine his confidence.

You will be interested to know how to raise a child who will not lie to you.