How to build a relationship with her teenage daughter: border rigor and friendship

Many parents believe that to be a friend to your child - so perfectly fulfill its educational mission. But as long as the child is small, easy to be friends with him quite a while with him to play with dolls or cars and praise the drawings. But in puberty the problem of finding the optimal distance in communication.

Trust but verify

One of the main reasons to friendship threshold - control issue.

It just seems that the grown-up girl is able to make informed decisions about their health care, think about the future and understand people. The behavior of a teenager can be compared to an illiterate letter schoolboy: he already knows the rules and exceptions, but still does not know how to use them.

Daughter can blame his contemporaries for the vulgar style and have five in-depth analysis of literary characters and at the same time pierced nose and fall in love with the "bad guys." That just does not create strong emotions and hormonal storm!

How to build a relationship with a teenager: the severity of the border and friendship / istockphoto.com

1. You have no choice but to act as a mouthpiece for the voice of reason, trying to keep a child within - and then come across the resistance. After "hitting" is not the daughter of a hurry to tell you what gleefully reported the same age - about a thousand "likes" received for selfie on the roof of an abandoned house, or on a bet of cigarettes smoked. In the view of the girl's simple: if you want to claim the role of a friend - so should be fully shared by all its passions and beliefs. In order not to lose confidence and daughter escape her remote, try to understand yourself, and then explain to her what it was manifested your friendship for her.
2. Say that cherish her confidence and do not intend to use it to manipulate. But note that you have life experience, thanks to which can predict what may result in one or the other "funny".
3. It should tell us something of her youth, her daughter did not think himself something you think you're perfect, so do not understand it, and all prohibited ( "Yes, we, too, one day... And how it ended... ")
4. Promise that you will gently respond to the most difficult questions and absurd desires. In adolescents, there is still a need to discuss all the important events with parents to hear their opinion. But they are afraid of condemnation, harassment, disturbance.
5. The most difficult to convince a teenager that to some things he has not grown, so I have to wait, to not breaking anything.
6. To daughter listened to you, imagine how it would have reacted the same age, and try to pick up the same arguments. For example, instead of edifying, "You still early to enter into a serious relationship with the guys," better to say, "I think you could find yourself someone better. Give yourself time. "

How to build a relationship with a teenager: the severity of the border and friendship / istockphoto.com

How to defend its credibility

At puberty the teenager is in a state of constant and intense competition. It's not easy.

To take its rightful place among peers, you need to have fashionable shoes, cool gadget, and (oddly enough) class parents. Do you want to maintain friendly relations with his daughter - have to reckon with the opinion of her friends, even if you dislike depend on the approval of some pimply Ani 8 "B".

• If you laugh at their idol, blame the fashion and accepted in their midst Slang, your friendship with her daughter could be in jeopardy.
• Cool mother need not have the same interests and tastes like a friends daughter, but it must be guided well in them and unobtrusively offer alternatives.
• When it's an awkward age of the child, parents find it difficult to accept the fact that their influence on it has been steadily declining. It is not necessary to show my daughter that you are because of this worry: it will be able to understand it only when she becomes a mother.
• But it is important that you do notice when you said do not care about the baby, and hurt feelings.
• Do not attempt to adjust to the teenage environment by copying the manners friends daughter, especially if you feel alien. Much more respect is an honest recognition that because of their age you do not take some innovations.
• Communicating with her daughter and her classmates, try to feel their mood and ulterior motives. Teens often seek to hide the noble impulses of the rudeness and indifference. The ability to see hidden enhance your credibility.
• Do not force your daughter to choose between you and your friends. Sometimes even worth sacrificing his own comfort for the sake of trust with the child growing up. So, instead of insisting on a family trip to the country and to discourage a daughter from an overnight stay with a friend, ask her to take a friend with you.

Also you will be interested to read this:what to do if a teenager does not interested