In old age, many mothers and fathers are wondering why they did not get to establish their relationship with grown children. Sons and daughters refuse to come to visit, to come on holiday, do not call or write. Why do you, do you think that all my life tried to maintain friendly relations with them, and now they come to you so ugly?
So what did you do wrong? What do you blame? After all, you are all youth "put" on their education, enough sleep at night, they took their own personal space. Or maybe you just can not stop right now to play the daughters and mothers?
Psychologists have conducted their studies and have now decided to share information on why the adult children do not want to communicate with their parents. Read, to avoid such mistakes!
1. You believe that, always and everywhere wrong
Each person has their own point of view on this or that situation. Maybe your children's opinion be not the same as yours. But you continue to insist on being right, because you do "lived life", "over", "wiser", etc. Even if you in fact, convinced that you are right, do not forbid children to have their views, which may differ from your.
2. You're acting as if he knew what was in their lives
Sometimes the adult children behind can be quite difficult events that have left a mark on their personality, behavior, opinion. They are not as they were in childhood, and it should take. You may not know that they are really concerned about.
3. You treat them like little children
In childhood, people can do a lot of mistakes. And if your son is in a lot of child I lied, and now he has become a successful entrepreneur, and your daughter was neformalki, and then rose and gave himself profession as a kindergarten teacher, you do not need all of them also try baby mask, constantly reminding about their "sins" and behavior in youth.
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4. You think that they are no longer concerned about your divorce
In fact, parents' divorce - is an injury to all life, and even it does not matter in what age children had to share his love into two halves between the father and mother. This was even worth talking about. Do not forbid their children to share experiences on this, and you will admit that it was for you heartache.
5. You do not give them to live their lives
Your children have grown up. They have to change their way of life, made new friends, relations. And you can not make decisions for them, and get into their private lives.
6. You are violating their boundaries
You constantly need to know that they occurred, hectic nose into other people's business, but your adult children do not want to share with you personally. And you do not understand why they do not tell you anything, and does not divide. It's simple, they established their defined limits, and does not want you to their transition.
7. You do not hear them, though, and listen
Each person is not just important that he was given the opportunity to say something, and hear! And you can interrupt them in the middle of the phrase, turn the conversation to something that interests you.
8. You take someone's side
This is a situation when a person has two or three or more children. If the children are quarreling, it is impossible to take any particular side, generally do not interfere in the conflict. If you support one or the other greatly offend. And do not be surprised then, why your child is home with you so cold and did not want to make contact.
9.Vy communicate through intermediaries
You did not get to build relationships with your child, so you begin to seek the help of someone else, for example, the second child of another parent, etc. Have you ever thought that the child does not want anyone else to interfere in your relationship, and there are some things that others know all not necessary?
10. You believe you have the right to dispose of their lives
It is very difficult to turn from parent to another. But many parents are afraid to let go of their power, and thereby to build relationships with children. Nobody gives you the right to interfere with a person's life, even if you are the parent. Just release the situation and intervene only when the children really need your help.
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Original article posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/vot-10-prichin-iz-za-kotoryh-vzroslye-deti-nenavidyat-svoih-roditelej.html