The desire to ensure that marriage is consistent with the highest standards, can destroy a relationship, rather than strengthen them, because of the disappointment caused by the mismatch between expectations and reality.
Specialists from the University of Florida, summarized, on the basis of work with couples suite: do not expect too much from marriage! Many spouses entering into official relations, expect their marriage doubtless improve their own situation and the constant care and support of the partner. Although the achievement of happiness and harmony is considered to be the main achievement of the marriage bond and the certificate their loyalty - this notion of marriage, according to psychologists, is overpriced expectation.
Psychologists have attracted to participate in a study of 135 pairs of newlyweds, who have undergone special testing, assessing people's expectations of marriage, their marriage satisfaction and seriousness at their marriage problems. In addition, all of the young couple took part in discussions on topics of marriage, which were recorded on video. In the future husband and wife for another four years, every six months, participated in the survey, to identify their level of satisfaction with their relationships.
As a result, experts have concluded that in marriage, most people tend to be inflated expectations - for example, in respect of a spouse coming from care and support, as well as on the independence of the partners in marriage. According to psychologists, some spouses require too much of marriage, seeing marriage relationships as a way to compensate for what they themselves could not reach them outside because of the lack of some resources. Thus, they are faced with a mismatch between their expectations and the reality that damaging to a marriage.
"No marriage is like another. People differ in their compatibility, communication skills, how they react to stressful situations. All of this plays a role in how successful will the marriage, and what can be expected from each partner. Our data suggest that people should pre-determine for themselves what they want from marriage before engaging in it. Assess their strengths and weaknesses and to develop standards in accordance with them. It is not so easy, which explains why couples are faced with a mismatch of their expectations and the reality, "- cites the opinion of the scientists in the journal.
The study found that the concept of marriage as something happy and prosperous have benefited only those couples who were initially strong and problem-free relationship. For people whose relations with the beginning full of contradictions and hostility, the high demands on marriage have a devastating effect, the researchers believe.
