We are trying to raise their children to be honest and decent and learn never to lie. In words. A personal example to demonstrate the opposite sometimes, we deceive their child and often do not even realize it. And no matter how small is this lie, or we believe it will be, "salvation." In this case, the child takes over our model of behavior, and understands that time so do Mom and Dad, a little lie is normal.
Even if we have the time to protect your child from the cruelty of the real world that it is our opinion does not hurt, there is nothing good said family psychologist Magdalena Battls. At the same time, there are cases in which they lie virtually all parents.
"It will not hurt"
You need a doctor to make a child vaccinated or picked up from the finger blood test, and the child cries and breaks. "It hurts not to be" - persuading you baby. But the child continues to scream and break out precisely because he knows that you are cheating. You had once said to him that he would not hurt, and turned out to be a painful prick. And he realized that you are not honest with him.
To better explain to the kid as far as his understanding of what is needed vaccine and that he bit maybe more, and then stop. Otherwise, if you promise your child that will not hurt, but it is not, it is you, he will be blamed for their pain.
"I'll be there in a minute"
You go to the store and leave the crumbs with a nanny or a grandmother, and that he was not worried promise that you will be in a minute. You do it in good faith. But on the way you go to the pharmacy to pay for utilities or in other cases, and it takes several hours until you get home. The more time passes, the greater liar thinks you are your child. Therefore it is better to be honest, you go to the store, because you have to buy the products to cook for a family dinner, and still you have to pay for the light to not cut off the electricity and buy medications. And once you do all these things to do once you get home and your child will have while playing with his grandmother.
"I will leave without you ..." The child does not want to leave the playground and you scare him, that will leave without him, and certainly do not go anywhere. And the child knows about it. So instead of coming up with horror stories, tell your child about the real consequences of his action. For example, "if we are 5 minutes will not go home, you do not have time to watch cartoons." Do not tell your child that is not really going to perform, so the child will understand that your words have real weight.
"I do not have enough money ..."
When you tell your child that you have no money and you can not buy the toy, and then buy something else more important to you at this time, he realizes that you're lying to him. Therefore, we must explain to the child why you are making the choice is not in favor of the toys, as well as, if you do not You will be spending too much money you can, for example, on the weekend to go to a movie, or go to summer sea. Help your child to understand that for the sake of something special, fun need than sacrifice. So you give the child an important lesson in life and become lie.
"Amusement rides do not work ...". A child asks you to take him to the rocker, and you're lying, that the rides do not work because you do not have time or the finances to take back the child. Be honest, tell me: "We can not go out there today, because we have to buy food for the whole week, otherwise we will have nothing to eat. The next week I got paid and we will be sure to go. " So the child learns that he can not immediately get everything that he wants. Only if you promise that go to the next weekend, be sure to keep a promise, or a child more than you would believe.
"St. Nicholas is watching you." Children fight each other, and you get enough of them to remember the mythical character who supposedly punish them and bring gifts. Instead, show the real consequences of such behavior: for example, "will behave badly, we do not go to the movies", "do not buy sweets for dessert," etc...
"It's time to go to sleep"
Child to go to bed at 21.00, but now is only the beginning of the ninth. No need to tell him that now it's time to sleep, it is better to say: "It's time to get ready for bed." Your words are a child of great importance, he understands them literally. It is important not to lose the trust between you.
"I will not let that happen to you something bad." Every parent wants his child to be healthy and happy, and tries to protect her child. But he can not control everything. We are not able to protect your child 100% 24 hours a day. So you need to tell him about it honestly, but so as not to scare. "I will always try to protect you, but people are different, so I do not want you to leave my side far from the store." Or "if you behave on the playground, you can fall and get hurt, and I can not protect you."
"You're the best artist! It's incredible! "
Do not praise the child's insincere, he still feels that you're lying. It is better to ask him to please himself whether the fruit of his work to him. Praise for the creativity and diligence.
"I do not know where your drawing ...".Well know, you threw it, you have at home is not much space to store all the pictures crumbs. And it's better to be honest about this child. Highlight his box, where he can put the pictures that he particularly likes, and when it is filled to touch them, and leave the best. This will bring up a child's sense of responsibility and relieve you of lying.
