Family psychologist Harry Chapman, author of the bestselling book "The Five Love Languages of Children" announced the top 5 "dialects" spoken with our children and they want us to communicate with them on the same wavelength.
American psychologist explained it this way: in the soul of every child is a kind of emotional vessel that mom and dad of the child should be filled with unconditional love. Love, for which they had no child should. It is the love for what you're just born and is - so unique and special. When the jar is full, that is, the child feels loved, he will develop normally. When love is not enough, the pitcher dries up, the kid with self-esteem and well-being problems begin.
5 Love Languages
Of course, we are all parents love their children, but do not always know how to fill their emotional vessel - to exercise the kind of love in which the child needs most. Harry Chapman identified five love languages - Five ways to express their feelings:
- touch,
- time,
- the words,
- gifts,
- care.
The psychologist made an important conclusion that we know all these languages, only one for us and our baby home, but the others we own a little bit worse. How to understand, in what tongue should speak more often with a child?
Eyes on the manifestation
To "decode" the language of love, a home for the baby, the baby should be on the watch. As a child expresses his emotions? As shows his love? Hugs? He takes the hand? Treats with something delicious? Talking to? Thanks for dinner or a pleasant trifle? You can also pay attention to how the child relates to pets and friends people, treats, is committed to helping, talking, he wants to embrace. Another way to observe - to listen to complains that the child understand what his main request.
You can judge leading the child's language of love by offering him a choice: walk in the park, go to shop for something delicious, or for a new toy, lie down on the couch at home and watch a movie together or cartoon.
On the same wave
So, as a result of your mini-study, you will understand the language of love is worth more likely to communicate with the child.
1. touching
Hugging, stroking, schekotalki relaxing massage - the language of love is the most versatile and popular for children. Family doctor and psychologist Virginia Satir advised children to embrace at least eight times a day.
- Upon meeting or parting hug the child.
- If the child is worried, it should be ironed on the head or on the back, between the shoulder blades (where the wings grow from a child).
- In parting, give your child a toy that he can embrace in your absence.
- Reading at night, lie down side by side and hug the child.
- Play finger games.
2. The words
For these children the word - the main landmark and a marker, like it or not. This kid are important words of encouragement and praise, the arguments for belief and support.
- Put in your pocket or school bag (in pencil case, lunchbox) child a note with the words "I love you!", "I believe in you!", "You will succeed."
- Hang on the refrigerator magnetic board for sharing funny message across.
- Often call the child by phone or on Skype when you're away.
- Invent each other ridiculous nicknames.
3. Time
While similar touch - a universal favorite language and who need to fill a vessel of love. To do this, it is important to give the child time, high quality, one-on-one, performing together, near some cases, just walking together holding hands.
- Connect the child to homework or cooking in the kitchen. Cook something together for the whole family.
- Watch movies together and discuss them.
- Walk along to the store and buy something special together.
- Visit the zoo together, youth theater, game room.
4. Gifts
Gifts as a language of love must be gratuitous - they surprise without cause, and do not pay for something or indulgence because parents could not give a daze time.
- Give gifts, baby respective hobbies.
- Take baby gifts with their hands
- Taking the child out of school, treat it with something tasty.
- Give the little goodies.
- Gather together with the crumbs collection of pebbles, wrappers, dried leaves, etc.
5. Help and care
We all care about our children, but not always able to realize how much our concern for them is important. If you notice how much help and care are important for Chad, he needs support, to give these "coins" in the pitcher emotions special attention.
- Help the child learn to katatsya rollerblading, skating, skiing, cycling.
- Be sure to help with homework
- Prepare baby original delicious sandwiches, if the school your child will have a hard day.
- ill daze read him his favorite book.
If you're with the baby on the same page, your love for him becomes visible, tangible, it fills him with warmth and light - these children radiate happiness and confidence.
