Any parents say that they love their children more than anyone else in the world, and in principle "for a child of any tear as Tuzik warmer." Just why we are ready at all for my daughter or son, in banal situations suddenly ashamed of their children and that they are very damaging. On this we have the three "good" and quite absurd reasons.
1. We are too proud of their children
Historically, the kids for us - this is the most important projects. We are investing in home krovinochku lot of time and money, so it is not surprising that our child is by definition - "the most-most." We are too proud of every success of his child and so upset when someone else's baby before our speaking, went, learned letters, etc. What we feel? Awkwardness and shame. How so?!
Or, for example, at some point in the offspring of people behaved very childishly: spilled the juice, muffin dropped to the floor, hurt someone toy, began to explore the contents into the nose. What are we doing? That's right, blush, look around and start to boo child. Although, as he did this seditious?
2. We appreciate the progress of their child more than the child
It follows from the above it - or rather, from our hypertrophied pride for my child. You say, too much pride is not the default for a child - it's pure love. Well, then answer this: Are you ready to show love and acceptance of the child when there is no reason to be proud of him? Are you in kindergarten or school, smile, wink to the child at a time when for outstanding achievements in the next intellectual competition praise someone else's child?
3. We corny show our uncertainty and dependence on other people's opinions
In the words of a classic: we all come from childhood. And we grow up, we start of their children, but sometimes do not grow out of children's facilities. Our nasty complexes imposed by comparison and "race" for the estimates at the time, unfortunately, are a legacy of our children. And if the child oblilsya juice due course not quite "adult" motor, it seems to us that they oblilis ourselves. And we expect a withering look and disapproval from others.
Who is to blame and what to do?
Who is to blame, and so it is understandable. It is more important to understand what to do?
• UNDERSTAND: the most valuable thing we can give to a child - it's unconditional love and acceptance. The only place where a child is really safe - is next to the parents. And if they criticize, require successes and achievements, so - appreciate them more than the child.
• Stop criticize yourself first for the little things - household and working. We're late, fall, spill the tea - it's not bad and not good, it is - an ordinary life.
• not criticize Child publicly - for all. Do not get hysterical and do not spank the kid for the flaws. Imagine that in front of you someone else's child, who was guilty - you're not going to yell at him, tugging at his ear or slap on the ass?
• TO PRAISEcorrectly in order to encourage a child, but did not turn his life in pursuit of the mother's, father's praise. Let the kid comfortable with the fact that in some ways he is the best, and in some - another child. Loving a child need not only for the fact that he is the best, but just because you have it, and therefore already worthy of love. A praise, a hug, a kiss, Son, there is always a way, if you want to.
