Parting - it is always a painful process, which takes away a lot of vitality and energy. Tamsin Fedel - author of "The One and happy. How to find its footing after a separation or divorce, "to share tips to help you survive the separation, and to find a new meaning of life.
At first it seems that life has lost meaning, but in fact, in front of you opens up a host of new opportunities and horizons, of which you may have forgotten or just did not even know. These tips will help you in the future to find the "I" and build healthy harmonious relationship.
The world has not collapsed.We will not dissemble, of course, you'll cry, to suffer, to watch melodrama and recall the happy moments of past relationships, seizing it or ice cream washed down with red wine. You will be self-pity themselves and demand it from their environment, but one morning you wake up with fresh ideas and say to myself: "Enough." From that day to begin your new life.
Tamsin said that the first 90 days after breaking up the most complex, she calls their "survival mode." But advises not to despair, and to direct their energies in a productive direction, for example, to do with their appearance or health. Since that time, when you "will pop up," it will play only on your hand.
You will discover yourself anew. You will remember that you have your own desires and dreams that do not need, each time making a decision, to make concessions and compromises. You can do what you like, and do not adapt to the partner, not wanting to upset him. The desire to please the partner and dissolve in it makes us faceless, it's time with this tie and the reopening of the "I"!
Unplug the head.At least one hour a day to be alone with yourself, put your phone, turn off the music and listen to yourself and to your inner voice, hear themselves and their desires. You can act radically, to collect the bag and go, for example, Vietnam, or just to a French restaurant to eat oysters. Do what you do not tend to, try something new, look for something that will help you to feel free.
Do not be afraid of loneliness. Often the fear of loneliness causes a person to hold on to toxic relations, just would not be alone. The prospect of waking up and falling asleep alone few people happy. But it is important not to confuse the two seemingly similar concepts: "to be one" and "being alone." You certainly are not alone, you have loving parents, friends, colleagues who will support you and be sure to not leave in a difficult moment. But you need to learn to be alone, and sometimes it's not easy, because it means to be alone with yourself, with your thoughts, feelings and emotions, face to face. But the sooner you do it, the faster will cope with their emotions.
Be happy.Only people who are in harmony with themselves, are able to build a harmonious healthy and, most importantly, happy relationship. Remember, how you are to treat yourself and love yourself how much will depend on the attitude to the people around you, especially the opposite sex. The ability to appreciate themselves, respect their interests and desires will allow you to meet my man.
Let go of the past.To open your heart for a new relationship, you need to free up space in it and get rid of the old ones. People on our life's journey there for a reason, they all come with a specific purpose - to learn something. Take a look at your past relationships on the part of, think about why this person was in your life, what lesson you need to learn from this relationship and what will never be repeated. After such self-analysis you can move to the next level and try to build a new relationship, taking into account all the mistakes and lessons.
Use your opportunities.Do not waste your time to suffer, use it for self development. You may have something dreamed, we wanted to finish the photography courses or go hitchhiking in other countries, but the relationship will make you rethink your plans and interests. So now you are free, breathe deeply, feel the taste of freedom and do what you feel like it is at this moment!
Also be sure to ask about What if you threw a loved one: 8 ways to cope and not get crazy
