According to popular belief - and so want to believe in it - the children choose their parents and family. Sitting on top of the clouds and keep an eye on a suitable "cell of society", which will arrive after 9 months with a convenient opportunity stork.
In fact, it happens in different ways, and a second or third baby can be both unexpected kinder-surprise, and a very welcome gift. Most parents prefer to schedule the appearance of children today, choosing the best difference between kids. What is the difference between the older and the younger a child is, if not perfect, the best, comfortable? How this or that difference affects the development of children and relationships?
3-5 years: ready for a new round of
According to psychologists, physicians, and parents themselves, this is the age difference between the children of the most comfortable.
Pros:
- mother completely recovered and can prepare the following genera;
- the eldest child has already mastered the basics of independence - he knows how to eat, walks to the potty, playing with toys and other babies, it has its own interests, so the mother can focus on younger, without prejudice to the first-born;
- older child may go to kindergarten, so my mother, during the day there is little time for yourself;
- youngest child growing up trying to imitate the older and, as a consequence, to develop faster.
Minuses:
- the older the child at this stage is activated crisis three years, which is accompanied by the appearance of a possible aggression, tantrums;
- great risk of jealousy towards the younger the older, if he does not get attention;
- kids 2-4 years old is very active and loud, have to teach your child to speak more quietly when the house is sleeping baby brother or sister;
- wait, from the first aid in the care of younger do not have to - it is like a big doll for him;
- baby, who spoke about the imminent appearance of a brother or sister, thinking that the house was the same child will soon appear as himself, - with it you can play, run around the playground. When my mother returned from the hospital with the baby, the eldest is experiencing a genuine disappointment.
TIP.To minimize the manifestation of sibling rivalry, operates on the principle of simultaneous communication: petted a baby, caress, and another one to play with, entertain and second.
5-7 years: with pleasure
Next in popularity difference of 5-7 years, which is understandable.
Pros:
- the oldest child is about to go to the first class or have the student, it must accompany to the school and pick up after school, helping with homework. This provides a new opportunity and maternity leave;
- Senior had already asked brother or sister, so it will be ready for the possibility of helping to care for the baby;
- another advantage relates to the plans for the distant future - when the youngest will enter a university, the senior had already finished, that makes life a little family if children learn to contract.
Minuses:
- in children little to do, especially at first;
- Sr., who used to feel the darling of the family, feels like a younger brother or sister, "moved the" it from a familiar place on the throne of the family - this is very painful for the child;
- there is a risk that the elder are too often used in the status of free babysitting, and it can badly affect their relations to each other;
- mom herself during this period is literally torn between the first-grader and babies.
TIP.Do not compare children with each other and try not to lisp especially with the younger before the eyes of the first-born. Be sure to praise the senior for any help in caring for the youngest.
1-2 years: Together cheerfully to walk
Very little difference between the children, the weather is not in favor with physicians and psychologists, however, parents are hesitant to take such a step, wanting to quickly "shoot out". It happens that the appearance of a second baby is a complete surprise when my mother believed that while breastfeeding, just will not get pregnant.
Pros:
- Mom and Dad are still fresh in the memory of all the skills of the baby care products;
- after the first child remains much odezhek, toys and gadgets - just need to freshen;
- pogodok in children, will have a lot in common and they start early to play with each other;
- Mom manages to make a break for the decree to then focus on the work. It is better to stay on maternity leave for four years at a time than the two times three.
Minuses
- with the weather difficult physically and psychologically, because they are both still completely dependent on the mother, and she has laid out twice as much;
- newborn to older baby becomes a competitor: pipsqueak considers mother of his property and is not ready to share it with somebody something;
- there is a risk of complications during childbirth Secondly, because the mother's body does not have time to recover.
TIP. Agree to help relatives and share the concerns on the major and minor, that can be postponed.
8-10 years and more: for the first time
This difference in age between the children of the least tempted by the parents.
Pros:
- for parents of a newborn is like the first-born - again they feel young, no experience with the incomparable emotions from birth the little man. All the first time;
- the family has reached a certain level of well-being, so the child can not save.
Minuses:
- for the emergence of teenager brother or sister at that age can be a shock and cause a negative (too long eldest child occupied "throne");
- according to recent studies, the interval between the delivery of more than 5 years increases the risk of complications during pregnancy and birth of her second baby.
TIP. Often ask older about his feelings, problems, and do not enter too many restrictions in his life in connection with the birth of the younger ..
We hope these guidelines will help professionals to choose the ideal time for the birth of a second (third, fourth, etc.) of the child. No doubt about one thing: to have children standing when everyone in the family that are very eager.
