Your child named spoiled? Congratulations! And we want to reassure once: you are not alone "lucky", awarded the title of the parents of the young monster that parent Vietnamese ropes. Yes, in this age detotsentrizma when everything revolves around the anticipated base 3.5 kilograms, gently and tenderly brought from the hospital, it is difficult to take to your charge account, that, you, the parents say "not really" pampered and spoiled, spoiled child.
And we really spoiled?! - parry you. We just loved, cared for, and nurtured holili, as it should be the parents. It's a shame? Not that word. But the offense - is not constructive, so we look for the truth, which is always somewhere in the middle, like a thin line between love and healing parent harmful indulgence.
Shallow Hal?
In boundless love mom and dad there's nothing wrong with that, because this love is charging a favorite child confidence that if mom and dad love him so, so - and the whole world, too, to his kind and supportive. And here is the very thin line when the child needs to understand that he is an adult, and then have to be not only rights but also responsibilities, and that the people and the world is different, and all-all-all require attention and respect.
It would seem, and that this knowledge is so special? The fact that a spoiled child, with which blew a speck of dust, glorify or without cause and was not allowed to point out his mistakes may experience in the future answered by a serious psychological trauma, as in adulthood, no one will marvel at them constantly, and do all his requests, as if by magic coli. What's the bottom line? At the navel of a growing family is born a sense of failure and disappointment in people and in life in general, as a child, wrapped in blind adoration of the parents can not see the world through the present and enjoy life when you somehow did not applaud every minute.
Look sharp
I hope you agree that spoiled - not fiction strarorezhimnyh psychologists and harmful "Pestalozzi" -detonenavistnikov. This diagnosis you need time to put your child to no pain and tears help her daughter or son, to become wiser, more mobile, it is easy to find friends, but with time - and a soul mate. But how to see "the beam in your own eye?" To start let's look at the most striking and distinguishing features of the children's spoiled.
1. My! And this is also mine! Only my! With no one to share! Spoiled child buy everything indiscriminately - the first volition or at the request, given to the best or the biggest piece, so the children of the mind and thoughts can not be that someone needed something share. The child simply does not understand that someone else may limit the desired or someone may limit itself to on their own. It is worth it to talk frankly with your child - talk about a different life, a better -sobrat parcel in an orphanage, and even go on a visit to the children, who live without parents.
2. Frequent tantrums in children over 3-4 years (up to 4 years of hysteria - a relatively normal pattern), when suddenly something in the picture of the world does not fit with the desires. For example, my mother was ill and could not take the game room, or a girl in the group of kindergarten painted princess better and it was praised. In this case - this is pure manipulation to win everything there, all the attention on himself.
3. Fastidiousness in eating and criticism of any dish, because the child knows basic sense of a healthy hunger, who experience when eating for a day or a certain time after the active walks on fresh air. Usually, spoiled kids constantly kusochnichayut - my mother in the bag there are always cookies, pastries, candies and other goodies that the child is not hungry.
4. Always dissatisfied and critical of everything he bought or give, each newly acquired item or toy is very quickly get bored and need to replace a new fun.
5. It does not help to parents, relatives, because at the time my mother and father did not think it necessary to ask for help to remove the toys, books, and an older child is so accustomed to this to total service that considers: it was, so it is and will is always.
6. Behaves rude, rude and rude, because it applies to all consumer. He does have, and if these "all" does not fulfill the requirements of the most important person on the planet, they will not be good. Familiar?
7. From the above sign, it follows that the young snapper is often to drive their parents in the paint, because it is not raised and used to achieve all screaming and tantrums. And the people around? And who are they? - said the novice, "the director of the galaxy."
8. Irresponsible because adoring child mom and dad (and grandmother, grandfather and other relatives) do not consider it necessary to force the child to answer for his actions, if he is guilty. Well, if it is something broken or lost, but even when someone is hurt or taken without asking something alien, still be to blame someone else, but not a favorite kid. That kid, because in this all-Forgiving atmosphere of the children grow up, but... not grow.
9.Child categorically does not understand and does not accept the word "no", and if to insist on the rejection, the darling of the young perceive this as the end of the world, which, in fact, he is satisfied with the parents of her hysteria.
10.No one but yourself, do not like. This is perhaps the saddest thing "acquisition" spoiled, which is imprinted on the child's character and can greatly harm him in the future, when it comes time to build relationships, make friends, to love and accept love.
Hopefully, our diagnosis will help you objectively look at your child - as if by a stranger, a disinterested spectator - and make the necessary conclusions. Or maybe you have not spoiled capricious and polite, responsible, kind, thoughtful child. What these children are not fiction - it is a reality!
