It would seem that the appearance of a small lump on the light should bring great joy, but it so happens that a new mother after giving birth a little like a happy woman, and looks more like a ruin.
We are taught to treat birth as incredible happiness. And it's really incredible happiness. And the appearance of the baby should make us happy... It should have taught us, but sometimes it's not pleasant. And it happens often. But who do you say about this?
In our country - the cult of "the sanctity of motherhood", and this is all not to say. Well and to talk about how wonderful to be a mother, what a miracle was born, how much happiness to have a child. Complain - not accepted and embarrassing. In this article, we encroach on the sacred.
Depression - a disorder characterized by low mood, the thinking and physical sluggishness. When a depressed person does not want, is dominated by the pessimistic thoughts, interests, lost, appetite falls, possible sleep disorders, it is difficult to focus. Man thinks in depression: "All to no avail," I'm worthless, "" I am not worthy of love "," to me that something is wrong, "" I am bad "," no one will help me, "" there is no escape. "
On the duration of the disorder appear self problems, self-organization, people change lifestyle to a more closed, stop dividing, to seek help, hope for recovery. Depression is very dangerous and destructive, it makes life unhappy and can lead to suicide.
The causes of depression can be a negative event, trauma, loss of family, great physical and emotional stress, Prof. burnout and stress, as well as... birth of a child...
Woman whispers to consult their "terrible" idea that "I was tired and did not want to see my baby... I'm a bad mother, "" I want to get away from him when he cries, "" I'm in a rage when he wakes me up at night, and I have not slept for the seventh night "... They tortured a great sense of guilt, shame and fear and be afraid of someone to admit that becoming a mother, they did not happy. "My life is now - is the lack of sleep, feeding and poop in diapers... where happiness here?", "I feel cheated! I was told that being a mother is a fortune... where is it?! "
We turn on the TV, and then show us that a mother should, that should the wife, that woman should... Have you ever seen somewhere materials that with some real problems faced by women after childbirth? Yes, sometimes mention them. But then he wrote that all this nonsense, because "you're a mother," and your "power of a mother's love" should be understood as all the little things, "love is offset to a child" ...
In practice, a young mother, after reading idealized articles and watching the same movies, falls into hell for 24 hours a day without a lunch break, weekends, holidays, and sick. She is faced with:
- lack of sleep
- lack of time
- emotional isolation (because it is the decree alone, without friends)
- lack of communication
- inability to meet their needs (sometimes in the shower time to go, the girl complained in the decree)
Priplyusuet here still no help, concern for the child, the fear of "not cope" and "being a bad mother" and problems with her husband, who having come home from work to say "you do not do anything, and I earn! "And you get depressed... You see?
To have a child - is a huge stress. After birth, you are given into the hands of a small lump, and it is forever. And you have to deal with, to love him, to be wise and strong, a good mother. And often the "good" advisers smiling confidently say "it is natural, and you can."
Many women can not handle, they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, climb out of the depression alone and blame the only themselves. Of course? often causes of depression are caused by neurochemical and hormonal disorders that must be taken into account. But the prevention of postpartum depression will be the one pillar, which will support and give strength:
Think about the details of your new life with your baby.
Throughout pregnancy, imagine how you will live together, that it - together. This will soften the appearance of the stress of the new man in your family.
Draw as much as possible support. Discuss with your husband the duties enlist now friends with whom you walk, talk, organize and grandparents, consider how you can give yourself time (and it should be done).
Allow yourself to emotions, do not hesitate to ask. Yes, you have a right to be angry and annoyed. But it is important to live these feelings, do not vent to the baby. Ideal - get the help of a psychologist, or even be a friend who knows how to listen (without the valuable advice in the style of "fat you get mad, and children are starving in Africa"). Ask for help.
Strong feelings, zablokirovannnye can become poison. Therefore, they should live. Good help in the emotional blog (Annex Yourself psychologist)
And remember: be a good mother - it is first to be a happy woman.
The decree - this is the time when you give your child a lot of resources, but it is important to understand - you also need the support of you, too, are worthy of love, you, too, need care. Take care of yourself as much as possible. I know that many are now immediately drop it, "then go to the toilet once." But believe me, if you sit down and make a list entitled "How to make my decree nicer?", You will find a lot of opportunities.
No, I'm not in any way discourage bear and not against motherhood. Please do not think so! But I - for conscious motherhood. Conscious - it means a planned, desirable prepared (financially, emotionally, physically). I for motherhood without myths and idealizations, without the "holiness" and not "you should". Just think about it, talk to her husband, family. This is the first step to ensure that the appearance of the baby in the family was the ticket for you in depression.
Psychologist Lilia King.
