Where there are two, there is actually there are six:
how each is himself, how he sees the other and what he really is.
© Eduard von Hartmann
Recognize "their" person among the many meetings easy. And meeting him, even harder to not pass. Opposites attract and are attracted, especially in young age. The paradox is that the right people are comfortable in communicating, they are clear and therefore seem to be uninteresting. With them there is no internal stress, and therefore no pulse quickens and soul trembles. But the potential konfliktery - is another matter. They cause a surge of emotion and seem to be visible, attractive, mysterious. This effect goes along with love, leaving behind the bitterness of a failed relationship.
"I do not get along" - a common everyday situation. At first, everything is fine: love, romance, passion. Partner sees an interesting, time flies together, and it seems that he has not sufficient simply do not have. Then increasingly there are situations of misunderstanding and disagreement with the opinions of others, resentment, disappointment. But love (it is very important to "fit in character" for years to come and build a strong relationship, but not the only condition for the construction of happiness in a pair) is recommended to observe some rules when choosing a companion, that:
- strengthen love;
- enrich the couple respect each other;
- fill the communication of understanding and tolerance;
- lay the foundation for a long happy years of joint;
- will provide an opportunity to work together, to build, to move forward;
- allowed to have common goals and not interfere on how to achieve them.
To disagreements with a partner did not escalate into conflict, it is recommended to build a relationship with those people, the deeper values of life which are the same as yours.
Deep values of life - this idea of what should be the world.
In the language of socionics it means: choose a life partner among its quadra. Quadra - a group of people united by common life goals, objectives, values. This means similarity in motivation actions, reactions to everyday situations related to the difficulties and joys. In the fullest sense, "and in sorrow and in joy ...". That refers to the deep values in life and what they are representatives of different socionic Blocks, you'll learn today.
In the evolution of mankind formed signs of survival, uniting people in large groups - physiological and psychological. We all share in the 4 big "tribe." Physiologically - blood group, psychological - of socionic quadras.
People with the first group of blood descended from hunters, the second - from the farmers, with the third - from the nomads, the fourth - by mixing the second and third groups. What is needed? In order to survive: the blood of each group can withstand the specific hazards associated with lifestyle. Everyone knows that the donor for a specific person can not be any, but only the one who has the necessary blood compatibility - coincidence. That's the way nature. If an incompatible blood transfusion - the person will die.
Similarly, the psychological division socionic quadras. One of the reasons why humanity has become the dominant species of living beings on the planet, is the the fact that each of us is born with a certain psychological type of perception and processing information. This is a group of blood - no more, no less.
Each quadra - its purpose, role and values. They built a solid foundation of strong partnerships, family, personal development and not its degradation.
The quadra virtually no possibility of conflict. This intractable conflict, within the quadra reigns understanding and acceptance of each other. The words and deeds do not notice anything offensive, and relationships are pleasant, no intrigues and quarrels. Chat "charges" of energy, physical and mental fatigue disappear, the tone goes up, life problems are resolved, and psychological immune system is strengthened.
Quadra values determine human life motivation, namely, that it attracts what he likes, the situations in which he would like to be, and some prefer to avoid. Hence the advice - choose a life partner from the quadra. The recognition of "their" going on to reconcile the major life goals:
- ideas about what should be the world around us and how it should be;
- what I want and what I do not want (it is I, not my mother, not the Pope, not the society);
- What are my desires (true, true desires, and not dictated by society or fashion);
- what situations to comfort me, and desire, and what I miss;
- from what I suffer, that annoys me the most;
- what would you like to stuff themselves (events, knowledge, emotions, etc.).
Now let's deal with quadra values and ways to distinguish "being" from "sound".
Distinguish the "I am" from "I want to sound" can praise. If there is any doubt that the person in wishful thinking, start to praise him on the values of the quadra, to which he himself reckons. If the declared value is not the true and apparent, such praise "will be in the throat." Man embarrassed, because it was not what he really wants to hear and absorb. In his reaction will be seen that such praise him "no taste".
Your partner - representative of the first (alpha) quadra if its value, "good and reasonable world", harmony, justice, positive, innovation.
Baby, open, naive attitude to life. The world of "alfiytsa" - a caring, safe, friendly, comfortable and interested to listen to him. Absolute value here - the pursuit of new knowledge, truth, justice and positive emotions. In life, it manifests itself in the genuine, sincere love for novelty in the world of film, music, literature. It attracts all that is unusual, extraordinary, unusual.
People from 1 quadra easy going and love to travel to new places unknown. In the sphere of interests of the people of the first quadra discovery, experimentation, intellectual games, intellectual humor. They love to dream and to postpone important, but uninteresting case "for later". Contemptuous of everything antiquated, traditions - not their value. Attractive sensual pleasures, "celebration of life": good food, good music, warmth and comfort in the home. They like the noise, laughter, enthusiasm and positive emotions, but stormy passions, fights and scandals are avoided by all means.
Behavior in the pair has a gentle, touching character. Gentle touch, stroking, without pressure and aggression, moderately modest, moderately active, but always liberated and open.
If a person demonstrates the value of the first quadra, it must be nice to praise such as, "You are very kind and nice," "You're doing all right," "You all love," "You know a lot." If this praise is pleasant and "assimilated" - you do not make a mistake with the definition quadra.
Your partner - representative of the second (beta) quadra if its value: the order of law, respect, social status and protection of the weak and protection, love.
Here appreciate the great deeds, exploits and heroism. The world of "Betans" - majestic and mighty heroes - strong and brave. Even for the dull everyday life it is important to see the "greatness of the era." Big things, large-scale projects, violent feelings, burning passion - is "Betans". Concentration Maximalism. Laziness, weakness, meanness, envy and despise irresponsibility here. The most important words - the idea of victory, overcoming, achievement, expertise, fairness. Collectivists, who know how to sacrifice for the common personal.
Most "quarrelsome" types of people are concentrated in the second frame. It is best to "Betans" get along with each other, although by their passion may seem fatal. Here, like all emotions - from extreme negativity to positivity cloying, because strong emotions give rise to great achievements. Rest, comfort and other "joys of life" are irrelevant, because there is no time to relax, time is running out. In life, they tend to learn from mistakes and not make them again. It takes a lot from himself and from others. Respect the experience and tradition, appreciate and defend their territory and their own rules.
Behavior in the pair is offensive force in nature: strong arms, outbursts of passion, jealousy. This does not prevent, in contrast, starts partners, fueling the flame, creates a lot of emotions.
Representatives of the second quadra important to hear from the world, "You're a big fellow!", "That's an idea!", "How do you do it!", "I've never seen anything better!", "Keep it up!". It is this praise "comes" to "Betans.
Your partner belongs to the third (gamma) quadra if its values: action, progress, development, initiative, self-interest, benefit.
They love to compete and win. They are people of action, movement, competitive advantage. Use your chance - it's about their world, bright and catchy, as the infomercial. Here the value of the rich and successful, the winners of the competition, winning the jackpot, jump on the competition. For the people of the third quadra poverty - it is a vice. Also here do not accept the lack of initiative, lack of character, bureaucracy. Freedom, the ability to live well and to their rules - is very important. The spirit of self-reliance, risk, growth, "the philosophy of less - more action" is in the third quadra.
Behavior in the pair is stable-stage tone: "spit-kiss". Gifts and a change of scenery is very customizable to the desired wave. Emotions also poured from one extreme to another: from a full merger to a sharp alienation.
For the third quadra praise is: "You have done the impossible!", "You surpassed itself!", "You are - the best!", "You accomplished so much!", "You have no equal!", "It's your victory!".
Your partner belongs to the fourth (delta) quadra if its values are clan-family character: stability, conservatism, peace and quiet, wisdom, traditions.
In honor - practicality, safety, physical and psychological comfort. They prefer in life to do what brings true pleasure to live without shocks. Religious individualism, tolerance, humanism, the "eternal values" - all values of the fourth quadra, representatives of which are very conservative people who value tradition and the reasonableness of the existing order.
Behavior in the pair is based on mutual understanding and spiritual sensitivity. Attention to the problems of the partner, feeling the depth, sincerity, trust, provide physical attraction.
Fourth Quadra waiting calm words such as "You did a lot", "Your work is very high quality," "You helped me a great", "Thank you for the good advice", "Thanks to you, I understand a lot."
"Alfiytsev" need to love, "Betans" should be admired, "deltiytsev" need to praise; "Gammiytsam" need to demonstrate confidence.
Observing the 5 rules, you can greatly increase their chances of finding a comfortable pair and build strong and healthy relationships:
1. Be yourself. Do not play the other person, do not try to seem someone who actually you are not. Remember that someone we will need us just as we are.
2. Accept and love yourself. If something does not like it - alters really, perfection. Develop and move forward.
3. Determine to which you belong socionical quadra and clearly specify their deep, true psychological values and goals. Separate the "alien" setting imposed by parents and society.
4. Talk to your potential partner fundamental questions:
- priorities in life;
- techniques and methods for achieving the goals
- attitude towards money,
- moral and ethical questions,
- ways of recreation,
- attitude to work,
- family life.
The more common ground, the better.
5. Search for and select members of the same quadra: In any case it will be comfortable psychologically.