Guilt - destructive, so people who are on any, even petty, about his experience and begin to blame themselves, greatly underestimate their self-esteem. Why not blame yourself?
In general, self-criticism is a very useful and necessary quality, but it is important not to go too far and not to turn it all into self-flagellation on any occasion. If you ate too much cake or do not have time to finish an important report on time - this is not a reason to blame yourself and unjustly criticized.Allow yourself to be a person who sometimes err or show weakness. So, in some situations, you berate yourself completely undeserved?
Exaggerate the consequences.Often people feel guilty and blame themselves for minor offenses, a cake eaten, bought things or something else. Suppose a mother is not the strength to go for a walk with your child, it takes a willful decision to stay at home, but then a few days reproaches himself for not having taken a walk with her child and that she bad mother. Try to see the good in life, to care more about their feelings, allow yourself sometimes small weaknesses and mistakes, then the world will play in other colors, and your life will be much happier.
Forget about your needs. The desire to put their interests into the background is very detrimental to a person's life. First of all, you need to think about and take care of themselves, and then to someone else, this rule works in all areas of our lives. If you urgently need to see a doctor, you should not postpone it due to work involving all hands at work, a few short hours will cope without you. If you have no strength to look after the child, leave it for a few hours, her husband and relax or just take a walk in the park, or meet up with his girlfriend. And do not feel guilty and think that you are someone betrayed. Remember, in an airplane, in an emergency the mother should wear an oxygen mask on first, and only then on the child, because while it will wear it on a child can lose consciousness and then not be saved no one. You - it is paramount that you have, do not forget about it.
To take responsibility for someone else's mistakes. Sometimes excessive self-criticism provokes us out to take responsibility for the mistakes of others. For example, your husband slept in the morning for work, and accused you that you do not wake up, even though the alarm is not started it. Do not take responsibility for others' actions does not justify, do not apologize, and do not blame yourself for what's not your fault. Learn to be responsible only for their own actions and words. When a person blames on the other - that's his problem, but certainly not yours, explain it to him and remember yourself.
In the past, only to see the negative and misses.Often people getting stuck on the mistakes of the past simply can not move forward, they are either afraid or scrolls continuously occurred a situation in my head and trying to figure out why it happened. Unfortunately, it takes all the energy and human resources and achieve nothing remains. If you still can not forgive myself for any error, you think that having made it spoiled all my life and now you have nothing good does not happen around and see approach is negative, write on a piece of their mistakes, and next - that's what you have achieved, and that you know how You know. This will demonstrate to you how many good and bad happen in your life and allow to rethink the situation.
Do not have room for error.Excessive idealization of himself and his actions - is fundamentally wrong phenomenon, because nobody is perfect and sooner or later you will stumble and admit any error. If this happens, you do not forgive yourself, and fixated on it and will punish herself and blame, constantly returning to this issue. Do not take everything so seriously, learn to forgive yourself small mistakes, making fun of them. Imagine, for example, that it is made by someone else, you're just as well to respond to the situation, or in a different way? Perhaps you do not even pay attention to it, or maybe just a good laugh and a minute forgotten. Give yourself the right to error and attitude towards life easier.
Also be sure to ask about 8 questions which need to ask yourself, if the life of something suddenly went wrong
