Often, when a second child is born in the family, the firstborn automatically becomes "adult". What mistakes do allow parents and why they are able to destroy the life of his eldest child?
Any good parent knows that a family should not have "favorites" among children, but often Still there is a hierarchy forming certain behaviors of the child in its further life.
The habit to impose on all the responsibility of an older child, and, as for their actions and for the actions of the younger, inherent to many parents. That is why the older children is much harder to find a place under the "wing" Mom, because it is necessary to have to share with a younger brother or sister. Besides toys and cease to be something personal, because someone is bound to say that it is necessary to share them with younger ones. And rightfully older must be given in the request "malyshni" everywhere to defend them. But if someone is lucky enough to have an older sister, and not his brother, who can just go quietly, at the request of parents sit in my room, it also automatically "proclaimed" future mother, and therefore simply has to help with the younger child.
Of course, parents have the right to have two or three or even more children. But it should never be forgotten that the first child, despite his new status at birth Jr., is still a child, and does not become an adult immediately, as it seems to many parents. Of course, it is different, knows more, but he still remains a child with his antics, the whims and needs of children.
Psychologists are very common and are working on the cases of the syndrome and senior complex (middle, junior) children and that is why, parents extremely important to know that "serial" number of the birth of their children plays a significant supporting role in the formation of their personality. Not all so is hopeless, if I pay attention to the feelings and experiences of the "older" child and it does not depend on their sex. But as practice shows, the work of psychologists always enough, especially with the older sisters.
Sometimes even to the naked eye, having no special education, it is possible to "calculate" the older sister, only to have grown up and became his wife. She inertia just drawn and her husband, gently, "taking care" of him, and solving all of him when and how much it is, how to thoroughly wash fruits before eating, when to go home. This Statement older sister, younger brother, and not a woman who would do the same action, but carefully and gently, anticipating the desire of the man and, without imposing his own.
And it all starts with the fact that the girl yesterday was the most beloved, the most beautiful, the one sole and unique for their parents, and now she has to change its status. Her psyche responds to it immediately, it has to a large extent to be retrained to change the manner of his behavior. It can use several options for such behaviors, ensuring that she was again the same child, the same favorite girl, and even asked to turn off TV to calm the baby fell asleep, pulls her child's mind and emotions, tightly fixing the notion: "I should be deprived of pleasure, others to be comfortable, and they had me satisfied. "
However, the girl might revolt, not wanting to turn off the TV and then the scenario will unfold a completely different way. Its definitely not for that pat on the head, not calm, not prizhmut chest. Most likely, my mother angry, nakrichit or some other way to demonstrate their disapproval of, for example, put in a corner or refuse to buy the promised and long-awaited doll. And if this little girl will be able to keep the strike is unknown. Most likely, she will try on different models of behavior that, in the end, will develop in a certain outfit that she will wear all her life.
Of course, there are different ending such a situation, if the parents time to look back and see through the hassles and worries about the youngest child his eldest daughter. And if they will remember that she still needed the same amount of affection, care, attention, pranks and many other things, that was before, when she was the only daughter, the situation with a TV can be developed very differently. For example, parents can turn off the TV offer today, and tomorrow go out and buy a headset together so that the sound does not interfere with sleep baby. Or they can distract daughter by offering to replace the joint and interesting pastime.
When another girl scenario dramatically "jumps" into adulthood, and not having time to enjoy childhood. The more it grows, it is becoming increasingly superotvetstvennoy giperzabotlivoy and a woman who at the same time very proud of himself. And everything seemed to be nothing, but this is followed by fatigue, then endless irritations and eventually, depression. Which scenario selected for their beloved daughter, you decide!
I love all their children, regardless of their "serial" number and do not forget that in every age the child remains a child is still hungry for your love and care.
Also be sure to ask about as the birth order of children affects their character and destiny
Picture text: istockphoto.com
