Often, a psychologist at the reception parents bring their children with a plea: "Do something with it!" And, his surprise, often heard from a psychologist offer to make adjustments to their, parent behavior.
We all know that our problems of childhood, but few parents understand what their behavior may adversely affect the the psyche of the child. Kolobok. UA with a psychologist, an expert "Stosuєtsya skin" (channel "Inter") and YouTube-blogger Lily King considered some of the problems of children's behavior and the reasons THEIR incurred.
The child is lying to parents and behave discreetly looking at the side of the authorities. Why is he doing?
Because parents to tell the truth it's not safe. If the parents go too the punishment is too strict, punishing neglect, coldness or aggression, manipulated love (love is only for the desired behavior or achievement) - little man with unformed psyche is very hard to bear alone the complex feelings of rejection, shame, guilt, fear. Therefore, the child will do its best to avoid them or to share with others. And you, as a parent, - no faith. You are much safer to lie than tell the truth and get a "lyuley". It is worth to remember that everyone has a right to make mistakes. And you, too. And your children. Parents should not be rigid. Peace and do not sugar, not portte it at least for their children. Be forgiving and takes their child. Speak openly, sincerely try to understand what prevents you to be frank. Sometimes it is enough to apologize to your son or daughter to become close friends again.Child behaves aggressively.
He learned from adults, he saw an example of this behavior from you. If disassembly adults occur in children - they are contemplating in the theater, all harassed into their heads. If you show aggression towards their child, another family member, an animal - your child receives straight legalization of violence. He learns from you. And it is not what you say, and it is your behavior. Therefore, the child becomes calmer and kinder if peacefully around him and the family decided to settle conflicts by understanding and not aggressive yelling, punishment, physical abuse.
Get into the habit - to understand. Conflicts need to better understand each other, not for self-assertion and domination. Learn to understand, not to attack, destroy, conquer and kill in conflicts.
The child is very shy, timid, afraid of everything.
This result is often ridiculed, depreciation, ashamed and tyukaniya. Such a child from the child thinks about what will think about it, what it looks like from the outside and is afraid to make a move. If you now and then to recover, fix and teach, then do not expect his child to freedom of expression and creativity, success in self-manifestation. They will not. On the roads are not growing peonies.
Remember, violence begets victims rather than successful people. Therefore, do not escalate the situation, working on its own balance, and it is sure to give your children. The main fact is not what others think, and what they think about you and your closest they feel.
The baby is very critical of yourself and others, it does not take hard, cold.
These are children whose parents do not take their weaknesses, being punished for tears, put them in front of a huge target, excessive demands and expectations. These children grow up to become adults autocratic, tough bosses, petty tyrant, cruel and callous. is they often reaching power asserting itself on those who are weaker, because accustomed that them do it since childhood. Remember that no discipline will not give good results alone. Love + responsibilities in a timely manner to show the child in your example - the best investment. At least one hour a day spend with their children. One hour of quality. It's not when you're in the same room and all are busy with their chores, it does not make the lessons together. This time just for you, for conversation, games, cuddle, walks, support.The child becomes a victim of aggression in the team.
Why? He looks guilty. Guilty behaved child who constantly blamed. Often parents for immediate rightness resorted to manipulation. Adult easier to blame the child, to convince that he is wrong. He becomes terpily, whipping boy, outcast, takes the blame, comes even where he is not guilty, passes, he does not defend its borders.
Sometimes faster to get his parents attack charges. But this is not an option. Suppose that today you 'zavinite "and he will do so as you would like, but that in the long run you are doing badly the child's mind. Speak calmly, without reproach, not blame. Calmly explain Convey their point of view. Be sure to consult a psychologist with the child and work on his own desire to accuse and kprekat.
Helpless and dependent child becomes, which watch over to full paralysis.
This is the case when "Vovochki have an opinion, and his mother did it now says" (c) And the lessons for him to do, and pat panties, and the university will pick and choose a suitable wife. Vovochke itself can only die. Such children grow absolutely helpless. They are either permanently dependent on mom (at times up to the end of life), or of a partner and live a life according to someone else's instructions.Understand that your child is not your personal property. It's a different man. And the fact that he is different (if still small) gives him the right to otherness, identity and their own opinion. Letting go of the nest - you give the bird to fly.
And, finally, a child who behaves obscene, disrespectful, too much of yourself allows you to do it because he was not led by personal boundaries.
Allowed him too much, affliction, with them did not spend enough time... in short they not raised, and paid off expensive gifts. He was left to himself. His parents ran. And this is the case, when it is too late to bring up, we can only try to be a friend to your child, not an enemy. And it is very important to give him time to get close, to approve the love, not shopping.
